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Posted: 1:00 a.m. Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Today's Nuze: Today's Nuze: May 20, 2003
By Neal Boortz
| Today's Nuze: May 20, 2003 | ||
Well, the weather got me. I left Freeport, Grand Bahama at 2:30 Sunday afternoon, landed at West Palm Beach airport at 3:00 to clear customs. I took one look at the weather radar and it was clear I wasn't going anywhere for quite some time ... so I checked into a local hotel and rested. I did make it to our studios Monday morning in time to do most of the show ... but no time for the web page. So ... whatchagonnado? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT? Bill Hemmer was interviewing Ari Fleisher, Bush's press secretary, on CNN this morning. Hemmer asked Ari if he was resigning because of the controversy over that landing on the USS Abraham Lincoln? Amazing ... just purely amazing. CAN A MOVIE KILL? We're hearing that some kid who watched The Matrix then went out and dressed up like his movie hero ... and capped his mom and dad. Blame it on the movie? No time to expand on this here ... but we can play with it on the air today. LOCAL GOVERNMENTS WILL PICK UP THE SLACK It seems that almost every newspaper I pick up has some story in it about local governments raising either property taxes or sales taxes. These governments went on spending sprees during the heady days of the dot-com boom, and now they just can't bring themselves to cancel some of those nifty new spending programs they instituted. The answer -- the only answer -- to these budget problems is simply to raise taxes. Remember -- if you run into budget problems you have three options. You can work harder to earn more money, you can cut your spending, or you can borrow some money and pay it back later. Not so for governments. When politicians figure out that they've spent themselves into a budget crunch they don't have to cut spending. They don't have to do anything to actually earn the extra money they need. If politicians need more money they simply step up to you and TAKE IT. This is the power that comes from being a part of the only entity that can use deadly force to accomplish its goals. With President Bush's tax cut at the federal level these local hacks feel even more emboldened ... after all, you have all that extra money now, don't you? What can we do? Well, we can vote these big tax-and-spenders out, can't we? The problem is, they're probably using that money they took from someone else to do something nice for YOU! So you aren't likely to vote them out of office. By the way ... how many of you have read "Atlas Shrugged?" THE IDIOTS GUIDE TO ISRAEL AND "PALESTINE."
 PERHAPS DDT WOULD HELP This unlikely quote from Khaled Batarif appeared in the Arab News. If a swamp contains the mosquitoes known to be spreading malaria and it has begun to spread it all over world, it is the right of each person harmed by the insect to demand that its life source be dried up. Terrorists are like mosquitoes and the sources of their nourishment are numerous and need to be dried up. The Arab News has undergone somewhat of a transformation since the war in Iraq to the end that you are more likely to get sound journalism from this source than from The New York Times; but then the Arab News doesn't have an active diversity program in effect. LET 'EM DO IT! OK ... you've already seen all the places our lower caste have found to stick various items of jewelry. Ears, lips, tongues, noses, bellybuttons, eyebrows, nipples. And there are some places you haven't seen. Now ... the new fad. Tongue splitting. Morons are actually having their tongues split right down the middle - for an inch or so. Don't even think about asking why. If these people can't give you a good reason for sticking a ring through their eyebrow, they damned sure aren't going to be able to give you a good reason for splitting their tongues. Some state legislatures are actually trying to outlaw the practice. There is a good side to this though. It is getting tougher and tougher for employers to find good, hard-working employees with any degree of common sense and integrity. There are several behaviors that a potential employer can observe that can help to weed out idiots and troubled people who might apply for jobs. Among those:
And now --- split tongues. The minute someone opens their mouth and you see two tongues wagging away in an effort to produce the words "are you hiring?", you can get the "NO" word ready. So, let them do it. Anything that helps us to readily identify truly stupid people helps us all. BATTLING INJUSTICE Oh boy. There's that esteemed and brilliant one-person thinking machine Jessica Lange exhorting the graduates of Marlboro College to "battle injustice" during her graduation speech. Oh well, it's a liberal arts college with all of 74 graduates.. so little harm was done. We are told that one of those graduates even did a "plan of concentration" on the sociological examination of the subculture of whitewater kayaking. We can only hope there wasn't taxpayer funding involved. During her speech Lange compared the 4-week campaign in Iraq to Nixon's "ruthless bombing" in Vietnam. She complained that government schools were being forced to meet tough standards while being denied resources they need from Washington ... meaning money, of course. This is rather odd considering Bush just got talked into a massive increase in federal education spending. I guess it can never be enough for some millionaire Hollywood liberals. Jessica Lange also decried the logging in our national forests. For God's sake don't tell her that there are more trees now than there were 200 years ago. It might ruin her day. And this "battling injustice" thing? Now doesn't that just sound lovely? Nobody likes injustice, do they? Everyone certainly wants to battle injustice. Problem is, we have to define just how these bedwetters define "justice." You see, for me it's easy. Justice is when someone gets what they deserve. If you go through 12 years of school, fail to learn how to communicate in the English language, and develop zero job skills; then find yourself unable to earn more than the minimum wage, justice is yours. If you then proceed to download a child you can't afford to raise, you are again getting just what you deserve. That's justice. The injustice is happening to the child, and you don't cure that injustice by enriching the parent. If Jessica wants to battle that injustice, then she should work to get that child removed from the abusive family and placed in foster care or up for adoption. If you develop a drug or alcohol habit that leads to chronic unemployment ... justice is yours. If you consistently make idiotic decisions with your life and end up living in squalor ... justice again. If you invite a Hollywood liberal to deliver a commencement address, and the graduates end up scratching their heads in confusion ... you got it, justice. READING ASSIGNMENTS Monday's Best of the Web. http://www.opinionjournal.com/best/?id=110003516 Newsweek Magazine's take on Jayson Blair .. who actually claims to be feeling a sense of shame now. http://www.msnbc.com/news/914096.asp?0nw=n2d Are you wondering what's going on in post-war Iraq? This may help you figure some things out. http://www.washtimes.com/commentary/20030519-095629-1762r.htm Passenger screening has worked well in screwing up air travel. Maybe it can be used to really mess up travel by sea as well! http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2003-05-18-ship-terror_x.htm Our government schools at work. 13,000 Florida high school seniors fail the state's mandatory achievement test. Now the controversy will be over whether or not they can participate in the graduation ceremony. http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=519&e=2&u=/ap/florida_school_tests The latest from the Pentagon .. a security system that identifies people by the way they walk. http://www.guardian.co.uk/uslatest/story/0,1282,-2694090,00.html From SFGate.com. Adam Sparks wonders if the Democrats are just simply out of their minds. Here we have an election year coming, and they just can't get the important stuff right! http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2003/05/19/asparks.DTL A Chicago Sun-Times editorial ... go with the House plan on tax cuts, the Senate plan is anemic. http://www.suntimes.com/output/commentary/cst-edt-edits19.html We'll just sit around and see if Bill O'Reilly takes this on ... graduation parties and ceremonies for black students only. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A7902-2003May18.html The liberals think that their talk radio salvation is on the way. Fine - they're used to delusional thought processes. http://www.commondreams.org/views03/0519-03.htm Time to thank Bill Clinton again. Sixty percent of high school students in this survey do not consider oral sex to be sex. http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/2212986/detail.html This ought to get the creation-types in a mini-uproar. Some scientists are saying that chimpanzees should be relocated to the "human" side of the tree of life. http://www.washtimes.com/national/20030519-110143-5209r.htmArcata California - if you work for the city, and if you cooperate with the feds in the implementation of the Patriot Act, you will have committed a crime. It is good to see some folks fighting back. http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=32656 |
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