NEAL AT YELLOWSTONE

Neal has his skinny dipping plans interrupted by an Elks convention in Yellowstone National Park.

DUMPING CHENEY BACK IN THE NEWS

Frustrated in their efforts to boost The Poodle and The Puppy in the polls, the media is once again setting its sights on Dick Cheney. There's a story in the New York Times that advances the conspiracy theory that Cheney recently fired one of the doctors on his medical team so he could replace him with another doctor, who will find him medically unfit to serve as Vice-President. Once that happens, he will then step down from the ticket and someone else will come forward. The usual names are being thrown around: Colin Powell, Condoleezza Rice, George Pataki, Rudy Giuliani, John McCain and so on.

That's all fine and dandy...but there's actually a very good reason Cheney switched doctors. His physician was found to have an addiction to prescription drugs. Besides, people change doctors all the time. Cheney says he is staying. So what is this really about? It's called gossip. There just isn't much going on, so the press makes stuff up. Happens all the time.

Besides, the VP slot is highly overrated. Dumping Cheney would look desperate, and would be an overreaction to the current situation. They're not doing that badly in the polls. It's still a dead heat. What would the point be in switching now? What if they put somebody else on the ticket, and got no bounce, just like happened with Edwards? Remember 1996 and Bob Dole? He was going nowhere in the polls, so he selected Jack Kemp - a supposedly exciting choice that would revitalize the ticket. It wound up doing no such thing, and had no effect on the election. People vote for president, not vice-president. A lot of people probably couldn't even tell you who the vice-president is.

So as of right now, it ain't gonna happen.

NOBODY LIED ON IRAQ WMD

The central strategy of the Democratic party in 2004 is that "Bush lied." You'll hear this repeated over and over again. The strategy is that if you say it enough, people will start to believe it. So it's the new catch phrase of the left. There's only one problem with all of this: it's not true.

President Bush never lied about Iraq's weapons of mass destruction, he never lied about the intelligence, and he never misled anyone. So, as the Democrats like to say, if Bush didn't lie, then who did? The answer to that is nobody. Not Bush, not Tenet, not Powell, not Cheney, not Rumsfeld, not anybody.

Was it the CIA? Did they get it wrong? Not really...Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction, had tried to obtain more and had even used them on his own people. There were missing (and still are) chemical weapons that have never been found. Where is it? Who knows...just because we can't find it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

So over in Great Britain, Prime Minister Tony Blair has been taking a lot of flack over this same issue. Blair could be the only liberal on the face of the Earth that understands the threat of Islamic terrorism. His reward for protecting his fellow countrymen? He has people calling for his head because massive stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction have yet to be found in Iraq. So now a report in Great Britain has cleared Tony Blair of any wrongdoing and discovered what anybody with half a brain has known all along: nobody lied about WMD intelligence on Iraq. Said Blair, in an address to parliament: "No one lied, no one made up the intelligence." That's right. The same thing applies in the United States that applied in Great Britain.

The left is just going to have to get over this "Bush lied" nonsense. It's tiring.

WHOOPI GETS CANNED

The Slim-Fast Foods Company has dumped Whoopi Goldberg as a spokeswoman for their products. The reason? They were none to happy with her recent actions at a Democratic fundraiser in which she mocked President Bush, using his name as a sexual reference. Some of their customers complained, and it was bye-bye Whoopi. Good riddance.

Predictably, liberals will be up in arms about this "censorship." But the fact of the matter is she was under contract with a private company to advertise and promote their products. They have a brand and an image to protect, and telling obscene jokes at a leftist Bush-bashing gala isn't part of the business plan.

For their part, the Slim-Fast people are in the business of selling weight-loss products to as many people as possible in order to make as much profit as they can. They are not in the business of having spokespeople that offend potential customers.

Besides, the customer is always right.

READING ASSIGNMENTS

In case anyone needed reminding, Gary Trudeau is an idiot. Now on with the rest of the reading assignments.

The Poodle's aides have acknowledged that he didn't read an intelligence assessment before voting to authorize the Iraq war.  This is all the more outrageous because he was asking if anyone in The White House had read it.  Those that live in glass French dog houses shouldn't throw stones.

The left is up in arms because The Hildabeast is not speaking at the Democratic National Convention.  The Poodle's campaign continues to say that she never asked. Hmm.....

These are the kind of idiots that make the airport screening lines at airports take forever.  Perhaps a little creative punishment is in order.

John Edwards is demanding that President Bush take responsibility for the weapons of mass destruction intelligence.  What's the point in apologizing for something that isn't your fault?

Remember all of the media fawning over Joseph Wilson?  This is the guy whose CIA wife was outed in a newspaper column.  Ann Coulter has the lowdown on Mr. Wilson.

Robert Novak, himself at the center of the Joseph Wilson controversy, has more insight.

And what about Wilson's wife, Valerie Plame, the alleged victim in all this?  Christopher Hitchens calls the whole thing a great non-story.

What does George Will think of California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger?  The answer might surprise you.

The Souffle has said that they don't attack their opponents in personal ways.  Larry Elder has the quotes to prove he's a liar.  Wait...is that a personal attack?

John Edwards is extremely liberal...unless you ask the media.  Brent Bozell looks at the evidence.

Should we have gone to war in Iraq?  William F. Buckley, Jr. looks at Operation Iraqi Freedom in hindsight.

If you think smoking a cigarette while using a portable toilet is a good idea, you might ask this guy for advice first.

Here's an interesting picture from a special restaurant in Bangkok.

Pete Townsend tells us in his own words the reason Won't Get Fooled Again wasn't used in Fahrenheit 9/11. It's not the same story Michael Moore is telling.

Check out this guy's incredible storm chasing photos. This is as close as I want to get to a tornado. Call me an armchair storm chaser.

Man arrested for fondling himself in Sears. I guess the fashion forward men's department was just too much for him.

Terror threat index inspired art.

Here's a school phone system's menu of options that tells it like it is.

What happens when a Chevy and a moose battle? It looks like they both lose. [via everlasting blort]

WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE POINTY HAND THINGS?
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