BROADCASTING TODAY FROM ORLANDO

I'm in Orlando today to speak to the Florida Concrete Products Association.  Today's show will come to you from the ESPN Zone restaurant at Disney's Boardwalk.  Yet another speech in Florida that was not cancelled by a hurricane!  As I drove in from the Orlando airport yesterday afternoon scenes of devastation from hurricanes Charley and Jeanne were still visible virtually everywhere you looked.  People in other parts of the country just have no idea what so many Floridians are going through right now.  By the way ... you'll remember that I told you that my Mooney Ovation 2 was destroyed when a hangar collapsed on it during Hurricane Charley?  Well, guess what.  My credit card bill came last week --- and yes, I was charged for the hangar rental.  And so it goes.

WHAT IS THIS "DEBATE" RULE ALL ABOUT?

Have you taken a close look at the actual document containing the proposed "debate" rules from the Bush and Kerry camps?  We have rules on makeup artists, risers, temperature, pens, paper and coin tosses. We have a rule that says the candidates cannot ask each other for pledges.  How nice.

But what about this rule?   "The candidates cannot ask each other direct questions, but can ask rhetorical questions."

Sup wid dat?

I guess we all know what a direct question is.   Something like "Do you wish Saddam Hussein was still in power in Iraq?"  Wow!  We sure don't want any of that in this glorified press conference, do we?  But what is a rhetorical question?  The Humanities Department at Brigham Young University defines a rhetorical question  as one "any question asked for a purpose other than to obtain the information the question asks."  The question "Why are you such a complete, blithering idiot?" would be an example.

Do you think you are being served well by these rules?  Bush can't ask Kerry "Can you tell us for certain that you won't raise taxes on the middle class?".

COME CLEAN?

John Edwards says that this "debate" is a test for George Bush.  It's a test to see if he is going to come clean about his actions in Iraq.  Fine, Mr. Trial Lawyer.  And just when is the leader of your ticket going to come clean about his actions in Vietnam?  How about signing that 180 form that will release all of his military records?  This "I've released all of the records I've received" nonsense isn't working any more.

HERE WE GO WITH THIS "FOREIGNERS WANT KERRY" ROUTINE

Once again this morning we're hearing that a poll of people in 35 nations (mostly European) want to see George Bush voted out of office in November.  Fine.  The only way the Euro-weenies get to vote in our election is if they come here as illegal aliens and register.  Works almost every time. 

There is much more to this story.  There was another poll of these grand Europeans.  In that poll 58% of them said that they wanted to see the role of the United States weakened in international affairs.  That word, again, was "weakened."  Using the evil of logic here, can we assume that these Europeans want Kerry to be our next president because they believe that he will best serve their interests in seeing the United States weakened in international affairs? 

ANOTHER WHOPPER FROM THE POODLE

The Poodle has really taken a beating in the polls over his flip-flopping. One of his most often-cited gems is that when it came to funding the war in Iraq, he "actually did vote for the $87 billion, before I voted against it." This has become and absolute bonanza for the Bush campaign, who has used it to great effect. So what is The Souffle to do?

Well, he figures it's time to respond. Time to address the issue. It's really too late...people already perceive him as a flip-flopper. So in an interview yesterday on 'Good Morning America,' Kerry was asked about his classic remark. "No, it wasn't classic at all. It just was a very inarticulate way of saying something, and I had one of those inarticulate moments late in the evening when I was dead tired in the primaries and I didn't say something very clearly." We've all had those "inarticulate moments," haven't we? Maybe people really are being too hard on The Poodle.

The only problem with his explanation is that it's not true.  Kerry didn't make his stupid remark in the late evening.  The lie was exposed almost immediately.   As has been pointed out by the Republican National Committee and others, the now-famous remark was made at a noon appearance before a group of veterans at Marshall University. In other words, Kerry lied. Do I sense a pattern here?

When John Kerry is up against the wall, or when he is caught in a lie by the media, he just makes something up to cover his tracks. This is the second time he has done it on ABC, the first being when he said he did actually throw away his medals.  This lie was exposed when those medals showed up on a wall in his Senate office.  It was then that we learn that Kerry actually threw away someone else's medals.

Or, maybe it was because (as the RNC said) Kerry's watch was on Paris time (six hours ahead.) Why do you think I call him The Poodle?

• He's French
• He has a Poodle haircut
• He's a rich woman's pet
• He operates on France time (also known as Weasel Standard Time)

CBS DOES IT AGAIN

You would think that with all of the heat CBS is getting over their bogus forged-documents story, they would have the sense to not do it again. You would be wrong. Unbelievably, CBS News is once again serving their masters at the Democratic Party in a very obvious way. Here's the latest.

CBS ran a story about the possibility of the draft returning. The only problem? There is zero chance of the draft returning. The only people that have brought it up are Democrats who are trying to invent a mythical issue to bash President Bush with. Anyone who says the draft might return is lying. There will be no return of the draft. The administration, the Pentagon...all have said it clearly: no draft.

So, since they sensed and opportunity to spread a lie in order to defeat the president, CBS and Dan Rather decided to report on "draft fears," and profiled an ignorant woman (no doubt educated at a government school) who said she was worried about the draft.

In their report, CBS reporter Richard Schlesinger used discredited hoax e-mails that are circulating around the Internet. Also, the supposedly concerned mother is actually the head of an interest group called People Against the Draft. It turns out this group has leftist Democratic ties. Surprised? Me neither.

No matter what happens, CBS will never waver from its sole mission: defeat George Bush and elect John Kerry.

READING ASSIGNMENTS

Uh oh.  Now we learn that blacks are "afraid" of electronic voting machines.  I'm telling you Florida, You're being set up!

The Poodle's campaign is in a freefall...and Democrats are getting desperate.  Ann Coulter says the French Poodle is on the ropes.

Lynne Cheney made fun of The Poodle's sun tan....and as usual, he couldn't take it.  The Kerry campaign's comeback was pretty lame.

And now, courtesy of CBS News, John Kerry's top 10 flip-flops.  Go ahead..click the link..I'm not making this up (although CBS may have...you never know.)

Al Gore has written an op-ed for the New York Times...how to debate George Bush (and lose.)  If The Poodle is smart, he'll ignore Gore's "advice."

Likability wins over smarts when it comes to televised debates...writes Sandy Grady.  Looks like the tan won't do the trick for The Poodle on its own.

All Bush has to do tonight is state his positions on all the issues in the war on terror.  Dick Morris says that for some reason, these are the issues Kerry has decided to attack him on.

CBS is out of control...stoking draft fears, despite the fact that there is not going to be a draft.  The Media Research Center reports.

Kerry has resorted to just making up accusations against the president....Robert Novak charitably calls that "myth-making."

Jimmy Carter...who has never met a despot he didn't like...is finally upset about an election result...the one in Florida.  Joel Mowbray has more.

Professor Mike Adams writes about a piece of political propaganda he found on a university website.  More leftist nonsense from the world of academia debunked.

Martha Stewart is going to prison for five months in West Virginia.  Big whoop...it doesn't exactly look like Rikers Island.  However, the jail cell may be a step down from what she is used to.  There is a window, perhaps some drapes are in order.

Men are being replaced in Japan....by a pillow.

Third, fourth and fifth-graders were served margaritas at school during lunch....oops.

Even a monkey can hack the Diebold electronic voting system. Have you got your absentee ballot?

WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE POINTY HAND THINGS?
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