OK .. SO I OVERSLEPT

So sue me.  I'll do the best I can with some program notes and then get on with the show.

JEB BUSH CALLS FOR MORE INVESTIGATIONS OF MICHAEL SCHIAVO

My sources in Florida's capitol tell me that Governor Jeb Bush is poised to announce several new investigative initiatives relating the most hated man in America, Michael Schiavo.  Bush has joined legions of Americans who were thrown into the depth of despair and depression mixed with outrage when the autopsy of Terri Schiavo failed to back up their claims that Michael had abused his wife -- abuse resulting in multiple fractures and other hideous physical trauma.  The depression and outrage soon gave way to a new resolve ... a resolve to honor the memory of Terri Schiavo by working diligently to find some legal noose that could be used to hang Michael Schiavo in a public square.

Last week Governor Bush ordered state law enforcement authorities to investigate just what happed fifteen years ago ... the day that Terri Schiavo collapsed.  There seems to be some issue as to just how long it took Michael Schiavo to call 911 after his wife collapsed.  It matters not that medical personnel have testified that if Michael had waited any significant length of time at all Terri would not have survived.  If the case can be made that Michael waited too long then the field will be open for all sorts of inferences that Michael actually was the reason that Terri collapsed and is, therefore, a real murderer after all!  The big advantage here is that there is no imaginable way to determine just how long it took Michael Schiavo to call 911.  Therefore there is little chance that the demonization of Michael Schiavo can be derailed by something pesky like an autopsy that showed no signs of abuse or neglect.  It is hoped that this investigation will "leave more questions than it answers." That way the hammering can continue.

I am told that later this week Governor Bush will announce several other investigations of Michael Schiavo:

An investigation of Michael Schiavo's relationship with his now-fiancee to determine whether or not he has violated any of Florida's anti-fornication and anti-adultery laws.  There will also be a call for an investigation of whether or not any fraud or cheating was involved at the time Michael Schiavo was first issued a Florida driver's license.  Did he actually pass the written exam?  Did he pay off the driver examiner?  If it can be shown that Schiavo doesn't have a valid driver's license he could be charged for driving illegally to see his girlfriend while Terri was in the hospice.

The harassment of Michael Schiavo will never end.  

OK ... HOW MUCH DID THEY PAY HER

Wow!  Is NBC ever promoting this one!  Tomorrow morning Perky Katie interviews Jennifer Wilbanks, the infamous runaway bride.  No, I won't watch the interview.  I'm not interested in anything this two-time felon and serial shoplifter has to say.  I do want to know just one thing.  How much did NBC pay Jennifer and her sucker for the interview?  Do you think that will be covered tomorrow morning?

CLINTON:  CLOSE GITMO

Who is the latest to chime in on the Guantanamo is a gulag story?  Why, it's none other than our philandering former president Bill Clinton.   Clinton is now calling for Gitmo to be closed ... or reformed.  Put Clinton on the growing list of people who think that Caribbean temperatures and loud rap music constitute torture.  Funny how nobody has mentioned that it's hotter in Iraq right now ... but about 20 degrees ... and the music is much worse.  Perhaps if Bill Clinton had done his job as president there would never have been a 9/11, a war in Afghanistan, a war in Iraq and Guantanamo would just be a Navy base.  One thing for absolute drop-dead certain.  If Guantanamo were to be closed tomorrow, by Thursday the world's anti-American media and their Democratic fellow travelers in this country would have some other outrage to press. God forbid the media should spend any time reporting on what's going well in Iraq.

GRUNT!  YES!  YES!  OH GOD!  GRUNT!

There are a lot of tennis courts near my home in Naples.  I'm not a tennis person.  I'm a golf person.   No two golf courses are alike.  Every tennis court in the world looks like every other tennis court in the world.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  Sorry ... but it's boring .... at least most of the time.  Down there in Naples -- about a year ago -- there was this young lady who would play tennis almost every day.  Let me tell you, she was just about perfect.  A ten.  If you like the Budweiser scale, make her a 15.  Every time this goddess would hit the ball she would grunt.  Well, not really a grunt .. more like the sound of an orgasm.  I'm told she wondered why so many men would stop by every morning to watch her practice.  Men are pigs.  All men.  No exceptions.  The champion grunter right now is Maria Sharapova.  Her grunts are reported to be in the 100 decibel range ... roughly that of my Mooney as I'm landing in Naples to check out the tennis courts.  Well, now we have a Wimbledon referee named Alan Mills who sees a problem with all of this grunting and wants something done.  Mills is the chief official at Wimbledon. He thinks coaches are actually teaching their female players to grunt when they hit the ball.  Evidently there's an anti-grunt culture surfacing in the tennis world.  If a new rule doesn't spread to the tennis courts of Naples a lot of men I know will have their mornings saved.

REDNECK SCRAP BOOK

Wow, what a fancy wedding cake! The Redneck Scrap Book will never end.

READING ASSIGNMENTS   

This column which appeared in the Washington Post yesterday is incredible ... an absolute must read.  I've said this a dozen times on the radio:  Sometimes you make a decision to act based on the possible consequences of not acting.  As Robert Kagan says in this fine column "One problem is that we always know what did happen as a result of war, but we never know what didn't happen."  Kagan writes as to Whether This War Was Worth It.

This column by Mark Steyn is by far the best column I've read anywhere on the anti-American remarks of Dick Dubin.  (Sorry, this morning it just galls me to put "Senator" in front of that jerk's name.)

This for all of you who think that Canada has such a wonderful medical system.  Socialized medicine is inevitable in the United States.  Read this column about Canada's medical gulag and take a gander at your future.  Oh ... and there's a good lesson about our government schools here too.

You do know that there is a strong anti-school choice movement, don't you?  You bet!  And in case you don't know it's being pushed by the usual cast of characters; out teacher's unions, the ACLU and People for the American Way.  

I would really like for the "tax cuts for the rich" crowd to read this  ... but they won't.  So you read it yourself, and discover what Bush's tax cuts have done for the economy of this country. 

There's a propaganda campaign being waged against the United States.  OK, so there are many propaganda campaigns being waged.  The propaganda campaign being waged by the International Committee of the Red Cross, is particularly nasty.

Over one-half of American corporations have someone on staff who's job it is to read your outgoing email.

Do you have a digital camera?  Careful .. some photo processors ma refuse to print your pictures because they think they look to professional.

Some black Southern Baptist pastors say that slavery is an issue far in the past.  Nice to see some folks who don't see an advantage to running around with a racial chip on your shoulder all the time.

Doug Giles has written a series of articles on the 10 Habits of the Decidedly Defective People.  Here's installment four, "Follow others mindlessly."  In this column you'll find links to the first three bad habits;  Be a slacker, Blame others and Embrace hopelessness. 

More leaks about the upcoming book "The Truth About Hillary."  This time we're hearing that Hillary is upset because Bill is constantly cheating on her with new girlfriends.  OK .. what part of this is supposed to be surprising?

The Paris Air Show is over.  Republican Senator Ted Stevens too a large delegation to the show, billed as "the largest junket there is." Now he's refusing to answer questions as to how many went.  I would like to know what it cost the taxpayers.

It's hard to imagine the brutality of the genocide that's going on in Sudan.  It's harder to understand why nobody seems willing to do anything about it.

Apparently pooping on pizza is frowned on at cheerleader camp.

WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE POINTY HAND THINGS?
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