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Posted: 1:00 a.m. Wednesday, May 4, 2005

Today's Nuze: May 04, 2005 

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By Neal Boortz

Today's Nuze: May 04, 2005
Wednesday -- May 4, 2005

RUNAWAY BRIDE FADES AWAY

Less than a week after it began, the latest media fad is slowly fading away. The satellite trucks in Duluth, Georgia have long packed up and left, and John Mason and Jennifer Wilbanks' 15 minutes of fame is about to run out. He'll be left to deal with the crazy woman he's about to marry, when he should really just set her things on the porch and run like hell.

Another couple weeks from now, the Jennifer Wilbanks saga will be on the 'here today, gone tomorrow' media ash heap with the likes of Terri Schiavo, Jessica Lynch and Joey Buttafuco. Oh, and those Pennsylvania coal miners rescued from that mine shaft. Remember them? What can seem like the most important news story one day is all but a memory the next. Such is life in the microwave media culture known as the United States of America.

That is, of course, until the media whoring begins. Make no mistake, Jennifer Wilbanks is going to cash in. Whether or not Danny Porter slaps her on the wrist with some sort of misdemeanor, or Shirley Lasseter sues her for $100,000 won't matter. She will "break her silence," show up on Oprah and write and sell a book. There will probably even be a TV movie or two. People will watch and buy her story. She'll make millions. And for what? All because she ran away like a spoiled little brat, then committed a felony by lying to investigators.

Whatever happens, John Mason still needs his head examined if he doesn't kick this one to the curb ASAP.

THERE THEY GO AGAIN

The anti-Bush media template didn't end with his landslide victory over The Poodle in the 2004 presidential election last November. Today there's a CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll out that shows a majority of Americans (57 percent) do not believe it was worth going to war in Iraq. See a pattern here in the coverage of all things related to the Bush administration? The mainstream media still has a few prime directives these days, including (but not limited to):

  • The War in Iraq. All bad news must be brought front and center and must be the top story. If somebody in Baghdad stubs their toe, it must be breaking news. Anything bad is George Bush's fault. All good news must be buried. Anything positive reported happening in Iraq must be followed by the phrase "but questions remain."
  • The economy. No matter how robust the economy is, all good news must be suppressed. Stories about the trade deficit, number of uninsured in this country, budget deficit and unemployment must be played up. Any good news, or any previously bad news that has been revised to be good will be hidden away on the back page. Oh, and minorities are always hardest hit.
  • Presidential appointments. Everyone George Bush appoints to anything is to be demonized and portrayed as a radical. Doesn't matter if we're talking about judges or ambassadors. The John Bolton hearings will look like a bike ride compared to the coming storm over Supreme Court nominees. Words and phrases like "radical right, far-right, right-wing and extremist" are to be used as much as possible. To the media, there is no such thing as a left-wing extremist.

Just in case you needed a quick rundown of the leftist media handbook, there you go.

U.S. MILITARY STRETCHED THIN

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Richard Myers, has issued a report to Congress saying that the Military is stretched too thin. Between the wars going on in Afghanistan and Iraq, things are starting to get a little pinched down at the recruiting office. So what to do?

The Democrats and the media will whine that we should bring the troops home, pull them out of Iraq. Wrong move. What do you do when the Military is stretched too thin? You buy more hardware and recruit more troops. The number one Constitutional responsibility of the Federal Government of the United States is the defense of the country. So let's get on with it.

Getting more hardware is easy. Place the order and pay for it. Easy enough. But how do we get more troops? Some in Congress have called for a draft. Bad move. A Military draft is essentially forced labor. Short of an invasion of our shores by an aggressor, there is absolutely no public support for a draft in this country. Period. So we're going to have to recruit more troops.

But Iraq remains a dangerous place. Not too many people are going to want to sign up, knowing that they could come home in a body bag. But there is a way to get more people to sign up, and you can do it in a second. How do you think Halliburton is getting people to fly over to Iraq and drive trucks? You might say nobody in their right mind would do that.

But they're doing so because of one reason and one reason only: money. Private contractors are bringing people in to do jobs like that for six figures. If the U.S. Military announced tomorrow that the recruiting bonus was $50,000 and the annual combat pay was being increased to $100,000, we'd have all the troops we'd ever need. While they're at it, how about jacking up the death benefit to a million dollars? Whatever it takes.

We have to win the War On Terror for the republic to survive. It costs what it costs.

AL-QAEDA STILL A THREAT AT HOME

Speaking of the War On Terror, there's news today from Attorney General Alberto Gonzales. Some (mostly liberals and media types) have begun to question whether or not Al-Qaeda was still a threat. The Attorney General had this to say yesterday: "I believe to the contrary, that despite our successes, the threat posed by Al- Qaeda and other similar groups is still very real." He's absolutely right.

As long as an Islamic terrorist can infiltrate our borders through an incompetent and incomplete security apparatus, we remain a nation at war and a nation at risk. How hard would it be for some Islamic killer with a lot of money (Bin Laden, for example) to buy a dirty bomb from The Gargoyle and sneak it into the United States? Not very. It would be extraordinarily simple to squirrel such a bomb away in a shipping container, or even just a package sent through a regular carrier.

Detonated inside a major city during a regular business day, the Islamic killers could murder hundreds of thousands of innocent people. We haven't even had suicide bombers start to strike this country. And some people believe Al-Qaeda isn't a threat.

Then again, some people also believe the Earth is flat.

OXYGEN-DEPRIVED AT BIRTH

And now we have the lamest excuse ever for committing a crime, courtesy of Private First Class Lynndie England. In case you haven't been following the news, Lynndie England is the soldier pictured holding the leash in the famous Abu Ghraib prison scandal pictures. She has pleaded guilty to seven counts of mistreating prisoners. After watching her boyfriend Charles Graner get sent up the river for 10 years, she decided to cut a deal. Now we're in the sentencing phase.

A psychologist testified that Lynndie England was oxygen-deprived at birth, speech impaired and had trouble learning to read. For these reasons, we're supposed to go easy on Lynndie England. She claims she was pressured into participating in the Abu Ghraib photos. Poor baby.

Those photographs have been directly responsible for inciting Islamic violence against our troops. What Lynndie England did caused some of her fellow U.S. servicemen in Iraq to die.

Leniency should not be the order of the day for what she did.

TONY BLAIR SET FOR VICTORY

British Prime Minister Tony Blair is up for re-election to a third term this week in Great Britain. The election is tomorrow. For those who don't know or care, they do things a bit different across the pond. There are three political parties fielding candidates: Labour (or 'New Labour') which is Tony Blair's party, the Liberal Democrats, headed by Charles Kennedy and the Tories, headed up by Michael Howard. Tony Blair leads in the polls and is expected to cruise to victory.

This will be the third member of the coalition of the willing that has stood for election and been re-elected. The first was Prime Minister John Howard in Australia, who was re-elected despite his support for the war in Iraq. Then there was George Bush in this country and now Tony Blair in England. Despite the liberal predictions that the war was so unpopular that it would cost every last world leader their office, it hasn't. So far the only major player on our side to get bounced out of office was in Spain, when the surrender monkeys there elected an Al-Qaeda-appeasing socialist.

Perhaps when Tony Blair is done in his home country, he could come over here and teach the Democrats a thing or two about having a backbone.

NOW TAKING APPLICATIONS

This morning, Neal was lamenting that he's never had a stalker. So he's now taking applications for his very own stalker. Here is the short list of requirements:

  • Female, approximately 28-30 years old
  • Built like a "brick house"
  • All original equipment
  • Poor memory

Come on, what did you expect for requirements? You know how Neal thinks. Anyway, email Neal and tell him why you should be his stalker. Put "stalker" in the subject or it'll get lost.


Rusty Humphries brought Neal back this nifty clock from Iraq. It chimes 5 times a day when it's time to pray. Listen here. Listener Karl found a link to buy one online.

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MSNBC has a story this morning that "scores" have been killed in Iraq.  For those of you indoctrinated in a government school, a score is 20.  So 2 1/2 scores of people have died in Iraq.  This is all part of the liberal media agenda to play up bad news.  "Scores" sounds much worse than "50."

Jennifer Wilbanks is under fire from the Hispanic community.  Seems they're none too happy with her phony kidnapping story about a Hispanic taking her captive.  She also said she was captured in a blue van.  What about all the owners of blue vans being offended?

President Bush doesn't seem to be getting much traction with Social Security reform.  Robert Pozen says there's a way out.  He calls it a win-win proposition.

Have all rich people gotten  to where they are on the backs of the poor?  Have they merely  been winners in "life's lottery?"  Walter Williams says you can be anything you want in America.

The CIA ordered its operatives to capture Osama Bin Laden and kill him.  And just how were they supposed to bring back the proof?  Naturally, they were told to bring back the severed head in a box of dry ice. I suppose it wouldn't keep too long otherwise in the desert.

One of The Hildabeast's 2000 campaign contributors to the tune of $1.2 million is launching an effort calling her entire election into question.  Hillary's bag man has already been indicted...who else is next?

Congressman Bob Barr wants a part of the Patriot Act reigned in.....in particular, the part that allows for what's called a "delayed notification warrant" or the "sneak and peek" provision.  Barr wants to change the provision and limit.  Constructive criticism of an otherwise decent piece of legislation that deserves to be looked at.

Good news for the Baby Jesus....his stalker has been apprehended.  With all those women throwing their bras and panties at him during book signings, there's bound to be a few nutcases out there.


House Republicans are calling out Nancy Pelosi for her hypocrisy.....she seemed all hot and bothered about Tom DeLay's questionable trips paid by lobbyists...but suddenly doesn't care one bit about similar ethical breaches by Democrats.  Should we be surprised?  Of course not.

There is a simmering issue out there that could cause real problems for the Republicans in mid-term elections and beyond:  their seeming indifference to the problem of illegal aliens.  Kenneth Baer reports.

The UN is set to begin its review conference on the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty.  Frank Gaffney says the treaty is a joke.  Time to send John Bolton up there to crack some heads.

Ever wonder what life is like under The Gargoyle in North Korea?  President Bush said at his press conference that there were concentration camps.  Christopher Hitchens says not only are there concentration camps, but the whole country is a slave state.

The media is at it again....this time with their biased liberal polling on the issue of the Senate filibuster.  The Media Research Center has a full report.

There's a new book out about "South Park Conservatives.  Michelle Malkin says she's not one of them.  She must not like the show.

Have bloggers, talk radio and cable news killed newspapers?  Jonah Goldberg says not necessarily, and argues that newspapers have been in decline since long before the Internet came out.

Morning Sickness: Woman ticketed in Vermont for leading police on a high-speed chase trying to get her burned baby to the hospital.

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