CHUCK SCHUMER HAS LOST IT

Sadly, he's not alone.  There's a "lost it" epidemic in Washington. 

Schumer's latest bit of crass demagoguery is to issue a call for an investigation into whether or not "Big Oil," as he calls it, should be broken up.  Schumer knows for an absolute certainty that the major oil companies should not be broken up, but he also knows that the average American knows next to nothing about the economics of the oil industry and will, therefore, like what he has to say.  Schumer, one of the leading demagogues in the Senate, will probably next suggest  a government takeover of the immensely evil Big Oil!

Know this.  Please ... try to understand this.  Every one of these politicians in Washington, with the possible exception of a few --- we'll always, it seems, have the Cynthia McKinneys to deal with --- knows and fully understands that the reason for the rise in gas prices is simply a factor of the demand for gasoline rising faster than the supply.  That's it.  It's just that simple.  It's a basic rule of economics that has played like a broken record for hundreds and hundreds of years.  It's playing out right now.

With every public statement, every bit of posturing, these politicians are sending you a message.  You're ignorant, we know it, and we're going to take advantage of it. 

THE PETTY WHITE HOUSE PRESS CORPS

The White House press corps decided that it needed to show its muscle after Tony Snow was named the new White House press spokesman.  So ... they turned their attention to the television sets inside Air Force One.  It seems that the televisions in Air Force One are, and have been for some time, tuned to Fox News Channel.  Well ... Tony Snow came from the Fox News Channel, so something has to give here.  Never mind that more Americans watch Fox News than CNN ... the press corps has demanded that the televisions be changed to CNN.  They got their way. 

THE TRESPASSERS ARE STAGING ANOTHER BOYCOTT

Again ... they're not immigrants.  Immigration is a legally defined procedure.  They're trespassers.  They're invaders.  They're criminals.  They are not "undocumented workers."  They're illegal aliens, and they're going to show their muscle again on Monday.  They plan to flood major U.S. cities on Monday with waves of illegal aliens demanding --- yes, demanding amnesty.   That's right.  They break our laws, and then they demand that they be excused for their lawlessness.  Jorge Rodriguez, a California union official (don't you just love unions!) who assisted in the organization of earlier rallies, says that their goal is to close down Los Angeles, Chicago, New York, Tucson, Phoenix and Fresno.  Rodriguez says that they want "full amnesty, full legalization for anybody who is here illegally." 

Speaking of unions, the wonderful teacher's unions are getting in on the act.  They're saying that children should get excused absences from the schools to participate in these efforts to close down major American cities. 

These illegals are telling us that they don't have to play by the same rules our fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers played by:

"Following the rules?  That's for suckers.  We make our own rules.  We cross your borders when we want to, not when you give us permission to.  We take jobs whether or not we're legally entitled to do so or not, and then we send much of the earnings back to Mexico to prop up our corrupt leaders.  Then ... we demand that you legitimize everything we have done by granting us amnesty.

"Manyana?  Oh yeah, tomorrow.  Well, soon we will be demanding the vote.  No, we don't want to be citizens, not if we have to follow your laws to do so.  We will want to vote.  We'll be paying taxes, so we'll want a say in how that tax money is spent ... and so we'll want to be able to vote for the people spending that money.

"Next?  Well, now that you asked, have you ever heard of Republica del Norte?  That's right.  We're going to want our own country.  A separate country located between Mexico and the United States.  We'll take California, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and part of Colorado.  We'll throw in a few of the Northern Mexican states for good measure.  We'll have the vote.  We'll have the power.  And this will be our demand .. our own Hispanic nation.  And since we'll be a new nation, we'll then demand that the taxpayers of the United States spend billions of dollars a year in financial aid for our fledgling country. 

Read the tea leaves, folks.  Study Canada.  Study the French-speaking separatists.  It's coming here.

STAR SPANISH BANNER

This is getting a little ridiculous.  As if the debate over illegal aliens weren't enough, someone has decided to record a Spanish version of the Star Spangled Banner. [listen here] That someone is actually a British music producer named Adam Kidron.  The song includes such music stars as Wyclef Jean and "Pitbull," along with some others.  This has some a little more than ticked off.

First, the obvious.  These people can do whatever they want.  That's the beauty of the First Amendment.  You could run right out and record an Arabic version of the Star Spangled Banner that praised Osama Bin Laden if you wanted to.  Such is life in a country where we observe freedom of speech.  So any effort to shut these people down would be wrong.  Let them sing their little song.

However, on the flip side, we get to criticize.  First of all, the language of the United States of America is and should be recognized as English only.  No speaka da English?  Fine --- but don't expect us to accommodate you by spending money to print all of our signs and government documents in Spanish.  It's costing us money, and we don't particularly like it.  Also .. it's a poke in the eye to come here and sing our Anthem in a foreign language.

But get this quote from "Pitbull," the hip-hop "artist" who is singing on the record.  He says the country was built by immigrants, and he's right.  He also says "the meaning of the American dream is in that record: struggle, freedom, opportunity, everything they are trying to shut down on us."  No sir.  This country was built by legal immigrants.  Not law-breaking, border jumpers.   Also,  all we're trying to shut down is illegal aliens that come to this country..duh...illegally.

Doesn't seem like this version of our national anthem is destined to be a hot seller. Stranger things have happened, though.  Will there be a music video on MTV?  You know, you could put in some clips of the illegals sneaking under the fence.  Just keepin' it real, as they say in the rap world.

SMALLER CARS....THAT'S THE ANSWER!

President George W. Bush, determined to jump on the ignorance bandwagon and score political points off of high gas prices, is pulling another Schumer.  The Schumer is named after New York Senator Chucky Schumer, who does press conferences at gas stations to try and capitalize on the issue. So here's Bush's latest ploy to try and get people to think he's doing something about high gas prices.

In addition to investigating the oil companies for the umpteenth time, he now wants to raise the CAFE standards.  What is that, you say? CAFE stands for Corporate Average Fuel Economy and it is the government mandated fuel economy standards for automakers.  That mileage is 27.5 miles per gallon, which is required to be an average of an automakers entire fleet.  So Bush wants to raise it.

This was started in 1975...and it's been said that more people have been killed by CAFE standards than died in the Vietnam war.  Why?  Because jacking up the mileage requirement means smaller, lighter (and thus flimsier) cars.  Ever wonder why big cars have disappeared?  Now you know.

Raising CAFE standards will not stop people from buying SUV land yachts.  Why?  It hasn't before. Go ahead...raise the standards 5 more miles per gallon...automakers will simply make motorized roller skates that get 40-50 miles per gallon to offset the big SUVs that only get 8-10 miles per gallon. It's a game.

What's Bush going to propose next?  Price controls?  Gee, that worked for Nixon, didn't it?

THE HILDABEAST'S NAME QUANDRY

When Hillary Rodham Clinton makes her debut next year as a candidate for the Democratic nomination for president, everything about her campaign will have been thought through.  Image consultants and focus groups will have controlled the entire process.  But one thing that's come up already...is the issue of her name.  CNN has done a poll and the results are interesting.

It seems people are more comfortable when she calls herself "Hillary Rodham Clinton" than when she uses just "Hillary Clinton."  Why is this?  Who knows.  Overall, among Republicans, her support went from 16 to 23 percent.  Strange indeed.

But then you go to the South.  "Hillary Clinton" drew a favorable rating of 52 percent while 'Hillary Rodham Clinton" came up with only 43 percent.  Why the difference?  Perhaps because people in the South are more traditionalists.  You know what this means, don't you?  Shrillary will have different campaign signs and commercials calling herself different things, depending on the state. 

But to us, she will always be The Hildabeast.

FAIRTAX RALLY MAY 24th!

Well, we're going to have that FairTax Rally you've been begging for. It will be at the Gwinnett Convention Center on Wednesday, May 24th at 7:30 p.m. Many of our radio stations are making plans to send a few busses full of listeners to the rally ... others are coming on their own. If you can't come to the rally there is a way you can participate. Letters! We want letters! We want letters detailing your support for the FairTax! We'll dump those letters on stage during the rally to show the level of support! Then we'll personally deliver those letters to the politicians who hold the fate of the FairTax in their hands! For now, just send those letters to us here at the Boortz studios. In a day or so we'll have another address for Americans for Fair Taxation to use. But you can start now by writing a letter addressed to:

FairTax
The Neal Boortz Show
1601 W. Peachtree St. NE
Atlanta, Georgia 30309

REDNECK SCRAP BOOK

Sometimes it's just too much work to get up out of the easy chair and go to the fridge...thankfully, you don't have to. More in the Redneck Scrap Book.

READING ASSIGNMENTS

Neal's guests today, Rick & Bubba, authors of Rick & Bubba's Expert Guide to God, Country, Family & Anything Else We Can Think Of

Atlanta listeners, what will you do with $10,000? How about a $10,000 shopping spree with Clark Howard? Register here for your chance at a $10,000 shopping spree and then listen for your name weekday mornings. Contest details.

Can you believe this?  I guess this good news finally became too good to ignore, even for the New York Times!  The times is actually reporting that the U.S. economy is still expanding at a rapid pace! 

Are we finally going to see Atlas Shrugged made into a movie?  Perhaps so!  And you'll never believe who would play the role of Dagny Taggart!

Why would this lawyer want to become a landscape worker?  Why would he want to go from writing briefs to spreading pinestraw?  Well ... it's because he wants to become a US Citizen, and he sees this as the only way!

Rosie O'Donnell is going to replace Meredith Vieira on "The View." Oh yeah ... that's going to be special!

Apparently you're not allowed to wrestle of you're a little person.

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