THOUGHTS FROM MY NETHER REGIONS

Paris, France is suffering more riots.  The latest fad seems to be burning busses.  With few exceptions, the news reports will tell you that the rioters are "disaffected youths" or "immigrant youths."  Those exceptions?  They'll tell you that these "youths" are all Muslim.  Yup, there you go.  The wonderful, peaceful, gentle religion of Islam strikes again.  Oh ... by the way, the very fact that I'm pointing out to you that these lawless rioters are Muslims constitutes "hate speech."

Hans Blix -- remember him? The former UN chief weapons inspector?  Well good ole Hans is telling us that Iraq would have been better off under Saddam.  Let's see; mass graves holding tens of thousands of bodies; rape rooms; torture chambers; tens of thousands killed by Saddam's chemical weapons.  Yup, I see Hans' point!  What a brilliant man!

Exxon Mobile has posted a $10 billion profit for the third quarter of 2006.  Can anyone tell me how much profit Exxon Mobile earned on every dollar of revenue?  No?  I thought not.

OK .. so George Bush signed a fence authorizing a 700-mile-long fence along some portion of the Mexican-U.S. border. BFD.  Now the fence is "authorized."  Hey ... I'm "authorized" to buy a private jet if I care to.  There's a small problem.  Money.  I don't have the money to buy a private jet, and Bush doesn't have the money to build that fence.  Authorizing is one thing.  Let's see when the congress steps forward and actually appropriates the funds to get it done.  By the way, the fence is about 1400 miles too short .. and it isn't electrified.  Let's fix that.

James Webb is running against George Allen in that hotly-contested Senate race in Virginia.  Webb, it seems, is an author.  He writes novels.  Fictional novels.  Now George Allen is using excerpts out of those fictional novels to slam Webb.  Who do I want to win there?  Allen.  But give us a big-league break here!  It's fiction!  Can we get to an issue that actually means something to the voters here?

Gay marriage?  It's back on the table again .. and people are upset.  I'll believe that people want to save the institution of marriage in this country when they start rejecting these Hollywood libertines who have made such a mockery of the institution.  It's Hollywood that is destroying marriage .. not gay couples in loving and committed relationships.

So .. you want the Democrats in power in Washington?  Wait until they manage to work the magic of imputed income on that home you've owned for so many years.  Oh ... and are you ready for a lump-sum tax to be placed on your retirement accounts?

It's reported that some Israelis see a downside to the Democrats controlling our country.  Golly!  You think!  What could the possible downside to Israel be to having our country controlled by peace-at-any-price appeasers who won't even recognize that we're at war against Islamic fascism?  Perhaps those Israelis need to start talking to their Jewish friends in the U.S. who will, naturally, vote overwhelmingly Democrat.

REMEMBER HANS BLIX?

Well, we covered Hans in my random thoughts .. but more needs to be said.

Hans Blix was the guy who was the chief weapons inspector in Iraq, sent by the United Nations to find Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction.  Blix failed, of course, just like everyone else who came before him (that wasn't kicked out, by the way.)  Of course, Blix has since spun his failure as a result of just needing more time.  If only he had more time...he would could have proven Iraq had no WMD's and saved us the trouble of going to war.  Yeah right.  By the way, did you know Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction and that they have been found?  Just throwing that in.

At any rate, Blix is a leftist...and an America-hating one at that.  He has recently crawled out of his hole to tell the world that our war in Iraq is a failure and that Iraqis would be better off with Saddam Hussein in power.  They used to try and hide their true thoughts, but we've now learned one thing about those on the left.  They love dictators and Saddam is no exception.  So now Hans Blix joins Hillary Clinton and other Democrats as members of the Saddam Hussein fan club.

Certain portions of Iraq are a mess, there's no doubt about that.  But by no measure was Iraq better off.  Did you know that, for instance, there are more schools, electricity and clean water in Iraq now than there were before the 2003 invasion?  Oh..and Saddam's entire infrastructure of secret police...Fedayeen...not to mention Uday and Qusay...all gone.  No more rape rooms.  Saddam's henchmen don't go around cutting out people's tongues for disagreeing with him.

But this is what we have come to expect from United Nations officials, current and former.

MORE RECORD OIL PROFITS

Oil giant ExxonMobil has had another big quarter.  Great!  Another American company brings home the bacon.  Their third quarter profit was announced yesterday...$10.49 billion.  That's the second-largest quarterly profit ever....behind Exxon Mobil's 4th quarter total from last year.  They are doing quite well.  At least that money is not flowing back to the Middle East to some government oil company.

But of course, that's not how the media and the Democrats see it.  You see, to them, the oil companies are ripping off the public.  They fail to understand supply and demand.  To them, the oil companies should "give back" some of their profits.  Never mind that they do exactly that...give back the money to shareholders.  But what the left fails to grasp is the market...simple supply and demand.

Why is Exxon Mobil so rich?  Because they invested in oil exploration and because they refine and sell gasoline.  They do this all at market prices.  Exxon Mobil doesn't control the price of oil or gasoline, the market (and OPEC) does.  But that's not what the media will tell you.

Remember:  George W. Bush controls the price of gasoline.  He lowered it a bit in time for the elections, but perhaps he needs to do it again.

MICHAEL J. FOX RESPONDS

Actor Michael J. Fox is responding to the allegation that he played up his Parkinson's disease for a Democratic political campaign commercial.  In an interview with Katie Couric, Fox says that he wasn't off his medication when he shot the commercials.  In fact he says he was too medicated.  Fair enough, but that's not really the point.

Michael J. Fox is a talented actor with a terrible disease.  People like the guy and if you took a poll, you'd probably find his approval rating close to 100 percent.  But Michael J. Fox chose to step into the political arena.  And when you do that in this country, you had better be prepared to be challenged.  There is no pass.

It's the same thing with Cindy Sheehan.  She's a sympathetic figure...her son was killed in Iraq.  Hopefully, most of us will never know the pain of losing a child like that...it's terrible.  But when she chose to step into politics...to start attacking the president politically in a public way, then all of that goes away.  She's now entering the public debate.

Look ... I'm not what you would call a hunk, yet I go on television.  So I don't get mad when people react in horror!  If I don't want to get slammed for my bald head and the scars on my nose ... I'll stick to radio.

By the way, did you know embryonic stem cell research isn't banned by the federal government?  Just thought you should know.

REDNECK SCRAP BOOK

Okay so clearly this is not in the US of A, but I'm betting there's an expat redneck behind the wheel of this minivan. More in the Redneck Scrap Book.

Scary video of the day: Famous Japanese competitive eater, Kobayashi, takes on his, er, BIGGEST opponent yet.

You've heard Herman Cain fill in for Neal Boortz. Read his latest online column.

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