BOORTZ SHOW COMING TO THE BELTWAY!

You'll have to wait a few weeks, but the show is coming to Washington DC! On September 20th you'll be able to hear me on WWWT (3WT) radio on three different frequencies! I'll be on 820 AM, 1500 AM and 107.7 FM. I like the slogan for the new station: "Left, Right and Whatever We Want!" So ... see ya in a couple of weeks, Washington!

POVERTY FIGURES

We told you about them yesterday: The Commerce Department has released new poverty figures for the U.S. Trust me, it is now what liberals wanted.

Before we get into this, a word about these so-called "poverty figures." Read this sentence from the AP story covering the new data:

"The poverty level is the official measure used to decide eligibility for federal health, housing, nutrition and child care benefits."

Understand that it is always the goal of liberals to grow government. You will never hear liberals call for less government and more private sector options in our lives. Understand also that the method of calculating these poverty statistics was developed by the very same liberals who wanted to grow our government. Doesn't it stand to reason, then, that they would develop a method of measuring poverty that would inflate the actual numbers?

That's why, as I pointed out yesterday in Nealz Nuze, you'll find that 46 percent of people defined as "living in poverty" by our government actually own their own homes .. and the average home owned by a person "living in poverty" is a three-bedroom house with one-and-one-half baths, a garage and a porch or patio. And in that garage you'll find a car; in 31 percent of "poor" households you'll find two. You tell someone living in South America that this is how we define poverty and they'll laugh you right into next week.

I'm going to tell you this, and you're not going to believe it. Check it out for yourself. In the United States you can have $10 million in a checking account, own a $10 million house with a seven-car garage free and clear, have a Rolls Royce for every day of the week, own a $42 million Gulfstream V, have a $15 million penthouse on Park Avenue, and another $5 million walking-around money in your pocket and still be officially designated by the Imperial Federal Government of the United States as "living in poverty." Why? Because in determining who is poor and who is not poor in the U.S., our government only counts income, it does not count accumulated wealth. When you quit working you quit having an income (unless you have investment income). When you quit having income, you're poor.

How ridiculous is that?

At any rate, poverty rates are down. That's the official word from the government. We have fewer poor people now than we had a year ago ... or four years ago.

Now if we had a Democrat in the White House the Democrats would be heralding this as news of the great job they're doing for the poor. But there isn't a Democrat in the White House; there's a Republican, and that Republican lowered taxes ... so the Democrats just cannot accept these poverty statistics as good news.

Listen to the show today .. or watch it on C-SPAN. I'll fill you in on just how the Democrats are trying to demagogue these new poverty numbers, especially that poverty pimp John Edwards.

Gotta love 'em.

HERE COME THE GUN PROTESTORS

A recent report says that in the US there are 90 guns for every 100 citizens. This makes America the most heavily armed society in the world.

Poor anti-gun moonbats, this is really going to get their thongs in a wad. Shame, really. I just hate it when that happens, even if they are dumber than a box of hair.

But let's take a quick look at something. Switzerland ranks 5th on a per capita scale of gun ownership. In Switzerland there are 46 guns for every 100 citizens. In fact, they give all males assault rifles for militia service, and they keep them at home. And yet Switzerland is one of the safest places to be. Why is that? Culture. It's America's gangster, drug-dealing urban culture that brings us these deaths, not the guns.

There's also a problem with the numbers. This report relied on government data to estimate civilian firearms. Are you telling me that Nigeria has just as comprehensive a system to monitor civilian gun usage as the United States? Do you think that governments would want to brag about the number of guns their civilians have? No. So relying on government data from each country is fruitless because it is collected completely differently, if at all. And definitely cannot be considered consistent and accurate.

By the way ... see if you can get our local ant-gun moonbat to explain why crime rates inevitably go down when people are allowed to carry concealed weapons. Ask the question .. their stammering is really awfully fun to watch.

ON THAT FAIRTAX / SCIENTOLOGY CONNECTION

Now we have Atlanta Journal-Constitution political columnist Jim Galloway who actually did some research and verifies my position. In Monday's paper Galloway writes:

Now, we've heard enough charges fly back and forth about this - so we called CATS, which was founded in 1990, at its Virginia office. Glenn Wahlquist, the national director, picked up. "Is there a Scientology connection? There was in the very, very beginning. A couple of guys who founded CATS were Scientologists. Their interest grew out of some of the church's experience," Wahlquist said.

Apology from Bartlett? Not yet - not that I've heard! In fact, I've heard that he's making appearances on some radio talk show spreading this Scientology stuff. I'll try to get him on the air with me to see if he will recant. I'll tell you what will happen though. From this point on we'll have opponents of the FairTax using the Scientology bit to demagogue the idea. Just watch.

NEW YORK TIMES CROSSWORD

It would seem that my name is a word in the New York Times crossword today. The clue for 30 down is "Boortz of talk radio." Now that's one for the scrap book! We all know, though, that they could have come up with a better clue, so we're going to take some suggestions from you today and post them on the Nuze tomorrow. Click here ... and be gentle!

ANOTHER STELLAR GOVERNMENT SCHOOL

While we are still waiting for Principal Jones of McNair High School to explain his morning "moment of silence" dedicated to Michael Vick, let's go to Texas and have more fun with government schools.

Elvena Colbert is the Assistant Principal of Ozen High School in Beaumont, Texas. On Monday Ms. Colbert sent out a little e-mail stating that all black male students should sit in the front row in their classrooms.

The Principal James Broussard quickly had to cover Colbert's tracks and send out another email to disregard the first one. But the damage had already been done. The Principal tries to explain that the e-mail was intended to target economically disadvantaged students who score poorly on the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills. The puddin' was stirred just a bit more when they had to explain that black males have a passing rate of only 50 percent.

First they try to explain that their "front row" policy was targeted at economically disadvantaged youth, then they had to admit that black males were the target after all.

Well you have to know what happened next. Along comes Robert Flores. He's a member of the League of United Latin American Citizens. Flores got his boxers in a bunch because the e-mail was only targeted at black males. Hey! What about Latinos! What about "other groups" (read: Hispanics) that you forgot about! This isn't fair!

In the end, everyone says it is just a big misunderstanding. I am sure that is what happened at McNair High School too ... the students just happen to misunderstand Principal Jones when he suggested that they pray for Michael Vick.

How about praying for his dogs?

STATE-RUN CHILDREN'S HEALTHCARE

The Governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, is threatening to sue the federal government. Spitzer's hair is on fire over new regulations on children's health insurance.

In our move toward socialized medicine, coverage under the State Children's Health Insurance Program increases to parents who earn up to 400 percent of the federal poverty level - that's $80,000.

But new regulations say that states would have to cover 95 percent of poverty-level children before it can expand access to middle-income children. It also requires that children have no health insurance for a year before they can be covered by the state. Spitzer says that these regulations conflict with existing laws.

Eliot Spitzer says, "There is a moral imperative that we cover our children with health care."

What Spitzer really meant to say is that there is a socialist imperative that we move immediately to bring about national health care. The government simply must have this power over the citizens.

HOW ABOUT SOME EMAILS?

REDNECK SCRAP BOOK

Redneck on a jet ski? Or is it just a plumber? You decide. More in the Redneck Scrap Book.

READING ASSIGNMENTS

Fidel Castro shockingly only has praise for one U.S. president: Jimmy Carter. Meanwhile he believes that Clinton and Obama are the future of American politics. Castro won't live to see either Clinton or Obama in office. Shame.

John Stossel says that our U.S. health care system has received another bogus report card.

More from the soon to be Tango Uniform Fidel ... he thinks that Clinton-Obama is the winning ticket for America! Let's remember that fine endorsement.

Omigod! You aren't going to believe this! Hillary has picked up a union endorsement! Quick ... someone alert the media.

Looks like our precious little angels aren't as smart as those that came before them. The average SAT score dropped to its lowest level in eight years. Officials attribute the drop in scores to "a more diverse pool of students" taking the exam. Yeah .. .that's it. It couldn't possibly be because our government schools SUCK!

Two weeks before General Petraeus' report, Bush reminds us how important our fight is against radical Islam. Some people are too ignorant to have their minds changed no matter what he says.

The UN is now going to tackle is newest race issue: "Islamophobia." How about Muslimwithabombophobia?

An immigration raid in an Ohio chicken plant found over 100 illegal aliens. I simply cannot express how stunned I am at this news.

John Edwards must be very upset to hear that "poverty" rates are down in the US ... and a Republican is still in the White House.

Poor CAIR. It has been taking a beating lately. Robert Spencer reminds us why this is a good thing.

Political leaders in San Francisco seem to be very upset that blacks are moving to the 'burbs. Hmmmmm ... maybe a wall? Aren't we supposed to live pretty much where we want and can afford in this country?

Turkey elected a new president who is a devout Muslim with a background in political Islam. There's another kind of Islam? So much for their EU membership.

MSNBC and CNBC refuse to run ads produced by Freedom's Watch that support the War in Iraq.

Remember the Democrat's call for a bumper sticker slogan? Here is what they are thinking so far. I still like "BOHICA! Vote Democrat!"

Just read this. Make up your own mind. Amnesty? Good idea?

In Norway they have an ecological prison where prisoners learn how to protect the environment.

Poor Teen USA contestant Caitlin Upton still has a bit more ribbing to go through before this is all over.

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