PROOF OF IDIOTS AMONG US

This letter to the editor appeared in the Savannah (Ga.) Morning News. The letter is self-explanatory. After you finish reading this there will be no need for any further commentary:

BRAZIL'S GREAT NEW OIL DISCOVERY

So .. Brazil has discovered great quantities of oil. That's very nice. But before that oil can be of any value to Brazil it must be retrieved. In that regard Brazil had better hope they don't have an anti-capitalist environmental moonbat community down there like we do here in the United States. If so, you're going to play hell ever getting that oil out of the ground.

BUSH ENDORSING HILLARY?

George Bush believes that Hillary Clinton will win the Democratic nomination, but then be defeated by whoever the Republican candidate may be. He also says that Hillary is prepared to handle the "pressure" of a presidential race and the White House.

No. It's not an endorsement. It's just an acknowledgement that anyone "married" to Bill Clinton has to either eventually pack some luggage and buy a plane ticket, or they have to learn to deal with pressure. Baby-faced prison inmates learn to deal with pressure, that doesn't qualify them to serve as our Commander in Chief.

LAUGH OF THE WEEK

And speaking of prison inmates ....

As you probably know, Michael Vick has turned himself in to federal authorities to begin serving a jail sentence even before that sentence is actually handed down. The sooner he goes in, the sooner he gets out ... and the sooner he can try to get his NFL career back on track.

Now .. here's the laugh of the week. Vick's attorney is Billy Martin. Here's what Martin had to say to the press after Vick disappeared behind the barbed wire:

"From the beginning, Mr. Vick has accepted responsibility for his actions, and his self-surrender further demonstrates that acceptance,"

I'm busting a gut here! Let's see ... Vick lied to Arthur Blank, the Falcon's owner. He lied to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. He lied to the fans .. and he only "accepted responsibility," as his attorney phrases it, after his homies turned on him and started copping pleas.

Please, Mr. Martin. Stick to practicing law. Your comedy act isn't going to take you very far.

D.C. GUN CASE

Just a quick FYI, the Supreme Court decided that it will hear the case on whether DC can ban handguns. We here at the Neal Boortz Show will be sure to keep you updated on this assault on the Second Amendment.

The question is this: There are ten amendments in the Bill of Rights. Is the Supreme Court going to rule that nine of those ten amendments actually protect the rights of the people, while one of them, the second, was written to protect the rights of government?

THE SAUDIS DEFENSE

Can you believe these messed-up mullahs? Last week Saudi Arabia was under a microscope after a story broke about a woman who was gang-raped receiving 200 lashes as punishment. Punished for being raped! Now Saudi Arabia is trying to defend this kind of punishment.

For a little refresher on how backwards these menaces are, Saudi Arabia's judicial system is based on a strict reading of Islamic law. With the help of CAIR and other radical Islamic organizations, this is the type of law they would like to enact in our country. But back to Saudi Arabia ... the rape victim received 200 lashes and six months in prison. She is blamed for the rape because she was alone with an unrelated man. Now the men who actually raped the woman? They will serve anywhere between two and nine years in jail.

So now Saudi Arabia is upset with the media, for not accurately portraying the story. They are upset that the stories did not specify that three judges, not one, issued the increased ruling of 200 lashes (up from 90). Also Saudi Arabia is upset that the media did not reiterate the fact that the "charges were proven" against the woman. Right, because that makes the story any better. I feel so much better knowing that there were three idiot Islamic judges who issued this ruling rather than just one. Yeah .. the more of these crazy fools we have running around the better.

Remember - this is the very same country where Islamic religious police tried to prevent young girls from escaping a burning school - actually pushing them back into the building as they tried to get out - because they weren't wearing head coverings.

As for the woman's lawyer ... the court is taking disciplinary procedures against him for having talked about the case to the media. The Ministry of Justice says that the lawyer had "spoken insolently about the judicial system and challenged laws and regulations." So now if you challenge the legal system in Saudi Arabia, you are taken off your case and who knows what the else they will do to this man.

Lashes for the lawyer! (Hey, that has a rather nice ring to it!)

Right now let's pause for a moment to contemplate the wonderful, serene, peaceful, loving, compassionate, user-friendly (if you're a man) religion of Islam.

OBAMA'S EDUCATION PLAN

Barack Obama has unveiled his education plan. He wants to spend $18 billion to encourage universal pre-K, expand teacher mentoring programs, reward teachers with increased pay (not tied to standardized scores), and remove failing teachers from classrooms and replace them with ones who are "competent." Yeah, right ... like he will ever be able to pass that one by the teachers' unions.

What a daring plan! No school choice. No competitive pressures you find in the marketplace. Just get those children into the clutches of the government even sooner, and spend more money!

There is no demonstrable evidence that spending more money actually improves the quality of education. It does, however, make the unions feel all warm and fuzzy.

So where is he going to get the money? From NASA. He says he will delay NASA's Constellation Program, which is making vehicles and rockets to go to the moon and Mars.

MEXICO ON U.S. POLITICS

Mexico's President Felipe Calderon has decided that he wants to tell US presidential candidates what they can and cannot say on the campaign trail. Apparently talking about illegal immigration is a big no-no. He says that there is a "growing harassment" of Mexicans in America ... golly, I wonder why. But I'm sure he meant the illegal ones. Calderon refers to illegal immigrants are "thematic hostages." Now there's a new one.

He says, "It is my duty to make a respectful but firm call to the candidates of the various political parties in the United States for them to stop using Mexicans in that country as thematic hostages of their speeches and their strategies."

Hey, Felipe! How about cleaning up some of the corruption in your own government down there so that the vast resources of your country can be the catalyst for economic growth and prosperity? Then maybe you could keep some of these wonderful people home where they belong! But then ... what are you going to do without the $20 billion they wire back to their families in Mexico every year. That money sure relieves a lot of pressure on your government, doesn't it?

Calderon says that illegal immigration is a "potentially powerful voting issue for a significant segment of the electorate." By that he means that Hispanics who have managed to register to vote ... both legally and illegally ... will punish the candidates for their stance on the Mexican invasion. If we're at the point where voters punish candidates for enforcing the law .. then perhaps it's all too late anyway.

PARDONING THE TURKEYS

No I don't mean the Democrats ... but George Bush has officially pardoned two turkeys in a White House traditions that stems all the way back to the Truman administration. Now the birds are headed off to none other than Disney World. They will serve as the grand marshals for the Thanksgiving Day parade ... I'm sure Belinda will be upset to hear that she is being upstaged by two turkeys.

By the way, apparently Dick Cheney wanted to name the birds "Lunch" and "Dinner."

If you heard me with Jamie Dupree yesterday, you heard my suggestion that Bush should have issued a blanket pardon to Hillary Clinton at the same time he pardoned the turkeys. No ... I'm serious.

GIFT CARDS FOR OUR WOUNDED SOLDIERS

As I said on the show yesterday ... my wife, Donna, will be visiting our wounded soldiers at Walter Reed Army Medical Center around the 14th of December. She would like to take some things she can leave with the men and women who have served our country so well. We're asking for gift cards ... Target, Best Buys, Home Depot, Circuit City, Phone cards, Starbucks ... you get the idea. Try to buy ones that don't expire. If you have some lying around, send them to:

Walter Reed Project
c/o Neal Boortz
WSB Radio
1601 W. Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia 30309

And thanks......................

READING ASSIGNMENTS

Here's a great article about Media Matters and "their Nanny-Founder" Hillary Clinton. I particularly like the "creating verbose mountains out of molehills" phrase.

After the 2006 elections, GOP members created a booklet on "making the case for a smaller, less intrusive, more efficient and more effective federal government." Clearly they must have misplaced it.

The UK's IRS had a little mishap. All of the personal details of every family in the UK with a child under 16 have gone missing.

The UN wants to make sure that Islam is not blamed for terrorism. When oh when are we going to rid ourselves of this hideous institution?

Remember that government Arabic-language school in Brooklyn? The founder and former head is filing a lawsuit against the city's education department for wrongly forcing her to resign because of negative media coverage.

So how about all of those "undecided voters" that asked questions in the last Democratic debate ... Fakes .. phonies ... a set-up job from CNN

Someone at the Department of Education forgot to proofread the booklets for a major international reading exam ... at least the tax payers are getting $500,000 back from the contractor that printed them.

Try handling a crisis in these goofy slippers ... officers at a high security jail in Great Britain wear house slippers at night so they don't disturb the inmates.

A girl competing in the Ohio state high school cross country championship breaks her leg in two places during a race, but she is so determined to finish that she crawls the rest of the way to the finish line.

Looks like children in Hawaii will be celebrating Christmas with Christmas trees covered in wasps.

In Denton County, Texas the Texas Rustlers Guinea Pig Rescue Group is fighting to be added to the list of organizations that jurors can donate their paychecks to. Who doesn't want to save the chinchillas?

A paramedic orders an armed robber suspect to drop his gun ... he doesn't. The paramedic shoots the man then proceeds to save his life.

Your latest health scare ... WiFi can accelerate the onset of autism?

And now for a little pseudo-insensitivity ... Holiday Feasts Increase Global Warming. Give the warmers another year and I'm sure this story will become reality.

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