HUCK GETS TOUGH ON IMMIGRATION

Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee says that he is going to get tough on illegal immigrants. He has signed a pledge to enforce immigration laws and to make all illegal aliens go home. Huckabee has also pledged to oppose a so-called "path to citizenship" for current illegals. Apparently he has a nine-point plan to accomplish this goal. If so .. good for him. Let's get that puppy implemented as soon as possible. I just love reading stories about illegals crossing the border ... heading South. As they say ... don't let the doorknob hit ya!

Now we just know what's going to happen next, don't we? The apologists for illegal immigration and Hispanic race pimps are going to yell bloody murder if Huckabee actually starts implementing such a plan. The question is, how in the world can you get the criminal aliens (and if they're here illegally, they're criminals) to go home without giving the pro-illegal activists something to scream about, and at the same time denying the race pimps the opportunity to start squealing about racial profiling?

Here's a plan. I think it's an excellent one. It is not original with me. I've just cobbled together a few ideas and concepts from a few different sources. I've covered this before in the Nuze ... but being the repetitive sort .. here we go again.

Step 1. Enact harsh penalties against employers who knowingly or carelessly hire illegals. If a simple mistake was made, the penalty is low. If the illegal hiring was clearly intentional or through premeditated negligence, the penalty is harsh ... up to and including having your business shut down. The object here is to deny jobs to people who are in this country illegally.

Step 2. Deny all but emergency services to people who are in this country illegally. This includes no driver's licenses. Illegals also would not be allowed to enroll in any college or university that receives government money.

Step 3. Pass federal laws, or amend the Constitution if need be, to deny citizenship status to babies born to mothers in this country illegally.

OK .. at this point you have the illegals heading home. They can't work. They can only get basic emergency services. The surroundings become decidedly unfriendly, and they go home.

But wait! Realistically we all know that there are many American industries that need these people to work. No problem. The second phase of this solution sets up a guest worker program .. so here are the next steps:

Step 4. Issue guest worker cards to foreign nationals who wish to come to the United States to work on a temporary basis. These guest worker cards can ONLY be issued by U.S. authorities in the countries in which the guest workers were born or of which they are citizens. No guest worker cards will be issued in the U.S.

Step 5. Establish a network of government-licensed staffing agencies. These staffing agencies will be established solely to handle the demand for guest workers. An employer will place an order with the agency for a specific number of workers with specific skills for a specific period of time. The agency will then work through it's counterpart in Mexico or elsewhere to arrange for the needed workers and to deliver them to the employer for the work.

Step 6. Either the agency or the employer will be responsible for housing for the temporary workers, as well as for any emergency medical services that may be needed.

Step 7. The temporary worker will be paid by the agency, not by the employer. The agency will bill the employer for all costs and will pay the temporary worker from the money received by the employer. There will be severe penalties for any business or individual who makes a direct payment to a temporary worker or an illegal alien outside of the agency regime.

Step 8. When the temporary work assignment is over there are no more payments made to the temporary worker. The worker is provided transportation back from whence he came. If he elects to try to stay in the country illegally ... where's he going to work? Besides ... staying here illegally results in the permanent revocation of his temporary worker card.

Anyone have any problems with this plan? Any candidate is welcome to pick it up and run with it. I make no claim to originality. If you listened to my show you would realize that.

MEXICAN LAWMAKERS DON'T LIKE ARIZONA'S IMMIGRATION LAWS

A group of Mexican lawmakers have taken it upon themselves to make a trip to the United States to say they don't like tough immigration laws. Nine state legislators from Sonora traveled to Tucson, Arizona to tell 'em how they really feel about Arizona's new employer sanction law.

Como se dice en espanol: "Mind your own damned business."

Now get this, the Mexican lawmakers are upset because Arizona's law "will have a devastating effect on the Mexican state." Yeah ... all those Mexicans coming back home really bothers them.

Excuse me, but just how is this Arizona's problem? These lawmakers say that Sonora can't handle the demand for housing, jobs and schools if the Mexicans return to their hometown. Again, why is this Arizona's problem?

A Mexican representative is upset because there is not one person living in Sonora who doesn't have a friend or relative working in Arizona ... gee, that's a scary thought. Imagine if every Mexican in Mexico had a family member living in the United States. Wait .. that's probably the case right now! But the representative also points out that this Arizona law is going to lead to the disintegration of the family. How's that? If the father comes home from his illegal journey to the U.S., how does that lead to the destruction of his family?

Can we deny these idiots visas?

IF I HAD TO GUESS TODAY?

I would put my money on Hillary Rodham vs. Mitt Romney in the General election. The difference will be made by single women looking for a sugar daddy (mommy?) at the polls.

But what do I know?

FIGHTING THE NANNY STATE CULTURE

Britain's Prime Minister Gordon Brown has decided that he is going to fight the nanny state culture. Well it's about damn time a politician got up and said something ... or at least publicly recognized it.

Brown wants to prevent the development of useless laws and rules. Sounds great. So what is his first move? He sets up a government advisory council. The Risk and Regulation Advisory Council will report directly to Brown. The council will first examine laws governing obesity, company management and "systemic risk aversion." You know the bit - "Those kids can't be dancing on those stairs, they might fall!" Or "Those hanging baskets might fall and hit someone on the head." Kids in Great Britain aren't joining Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts because of this restrictive regulation.

What might Gordon Brown be talking about? Try this story on for size. Recently in Great Britain there were plans for a children's party at a fire station to raise money for some charity. But guess who came along and put the kibosh on the party? Government, of course, in the person of health and safety officials. They canceled the party because the government nannies were afraid the children might slip and fall if someone spilled a drink. If they wanted to have the party, the fire station would have to lay down carpet. You see the problem was that the risk assessment for the fire station was about $700,000 and that made it unsuitable for a party.

Give me a big league break, would you? How bad can this get?

The unfortunate thing here is that Brown is trying to solve the problem of more government with more government ... an advisory panel. But on further thought that's exactly the approach I have with my idea for a 10th Amendment Commission.

At least they're trying something over there. The boss has put the issue on the table. Now if could only begin to address the problem of the nanny state here in the U.S. As I said yesterday, we're becoming a nation of whining little children scared to death to leave the nest. We get scared or hurt and we stand there like a three-year-old crying and saying "I want my mommy!" Mommy, of course, is the government. Is there a candidate out there who will recognize this and offer to do something about it?

RELIGIOUS FREEDOM DAY

I'm really sorry to inform you that we here at the Neal Boortz Show forgot to honor Religious Freedom Day yesterday. President Bush decided that January 16th was going to be a day to celebrate religious freedom - he ironically made this announcement while he was in Saudi Arabia. I wonder how Saudi Arabia felt about Americans' celebration of religious liberty? For that part, I wonder how some turbos in this country feel about it. Religious freedom? Does that mean we can't use the law to enforce our religious principals on the rest of the country?

WAITING FOR THE DENTAL CHAIR

If you want to see what the future of the United States under Hillarycare, just take a look inside the mouth of the average British citizen. More than seven million people in Great Britain have gone almost two years without a visit to the dentist. This is because of the backlogged, dysfunctional system known as universal healthcare. Almost 3 million people have gone without treatment, period. And 7.4 million have tried to see a dentist through the National Health Service but failed. Many people have reported having to pull their own teeth. Makes you look forward to universal healthcare, doesn't it?

REDNECK SCRAP BOOK

Wow, this would look just FABULOUS in the dining room, wouldn't it? More in the Redneck Scrap Book.

READING ASSIGNMENTS

More on the News/Talk 750 WSB Prostate Proactivity Campaign and free prostate cancer screenings.

In case you missed this column yesterday, a Washington Post columnist makes a very good point. The Republican presidential candidates have one thing in common ...

Times are tough for Canadian writers and publishers because their country is so wrapped up in political correctness. If you are a Canadian writer you are safe only if you are a gay activist or a Muslim goon.

Listen up you media poodles. Syria's top Sunni Muslim cleric warned the media to "use caution when reporting on religion." And when he says "religion" he means the peaceful religion of Islam. He says that the choice and timing of reports can cause a war.

Former congressman from Michigan and UN delegate Mark Deli Siljander was indicted for sending more than $130,000 to an al-Qaida and Taliban supporter. He was also allegedly paid $50,000 by the Islamic American Relief Agency for lobbying senators ... the money was stolen from the US Agency for International Development. Design or stupidity?

Spain tried to write new lyrics for its national anthem. It turned out to be a no-go. Turns out Basque separatists decided "it didn't appeal to them" so Spain scrapped the whole thing.

Remember how just the other day the governor of Maryland wanted a two-tier drivers' license system for illegal immigrants? Well he changed his tune awfully fast.

House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer believes that Congress could pass a stimulus package to spur economic growth within a month. Of course this plan does not include extending President Bush's tax cuts.

The Air Force is begging the Government Accountability Office to reconsider its decision faulting the Air Force for its handling of a $1.2 billion contract with Boeing. These are your tax dollars ...

We can all rest easy now. The ACLU has decided that sex in public restrooms is a private matter. Now they'll put little "privacy please" cards in those stalls that you can hang on the knob when you're there for something other than stocking the pond.

In Oregon, government agencies, Native Americans, farmers and fishermen want taxpayers to spend $1 billion to remove four dams on the Klamath River. One of the reasons? So the Klamath Tribe in Klamath County can have a new 90,000-acre reservation on the land of their ancestors.

Hungarian scientists have been busy developing a computer program that translates dog barks. Maybe now that cute puppies are involved, Kelly Pickler will finally learn where Hungary is located.

Environmentalists in Australia have come up with a brilliant way to save their precious national parks ... kill all the wild horses.

A woman in Colorado sent nude pictures of herself to her husband while he was in jail. Now she is filing a claim of at least $100,000 against the county because the jailers distributed the nude photos.

And who knew that hairy chests were offensive? In Japan, the display of a male's hairy chest is considered sexual harassment because women are likely to find it offensive. For the love of all humanity, keep Scott Slade out of Japan.

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