PLANE ON THE TREADMILL

Mythbusters did the airplane on the treadmill bit last night. The airplane took off with a normal takeoff roll. Now ... let see if those of you who sent me those emails telling me what an idiot I am will have the guts to write back and apologize. Don't believe me? Watch it for yourself.

Look ... you came by it honestly. It's not as if our government schools taught you any logical reasoning skills.

STEP UP, AMERICA, AND SHOW YOUR ECONOMIC IGNORANCE!

Today we're likely to hear a report that Shell Oil has recorded its biggest profits ever. This is going to present a golden opportunity for leftist fools and victims of our government education system to start their hate campaign against "big oil" again. Perhaps we'll even have a chance for Hillary to do her "I want to take those profits" screech again.

Before you go off the deep end with these Shell profits, try to figure out what their actual profit margin is. If you were educated in government schools the chances are you wouldn't know a profit from a profit margin if your life depended on it.

If the Shell profit margins are in line with past years, or in line with the industry, then there is absolutely no problem here whatsoever. That, however, won't stop the demagogues. Stand back.

PAY MY HEATING BILL ...

This is the latest battle cry of the poor, poor, pitiful "less fortunate." Home heating oil dealers are now whining to Congress to put extra money in the stimulus package. What do they want? They want to fully fund a program to help poor families pay their winter heating bills. The New England Fuel Institute and the Petroleum Marketer's Association of America want lawmakers to add $3.6 billion to the Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program. Their argument is that no one should have to choose between putting food on the table or staying warm.

These people aren't choosing between putting food on their table and keeping their houses warm. They're choosing between cell phones, flat-screen televisions, car payments on fancy cars, vacations, lottery tickets and meals at fancy restaurants and heating their homes. Simply put, they're freeloading.

LATEST VICTIM OF GLOBAL WARMING

The European Parliament has declared these heaters to be the latest perpetrators. Environmentalists say that the heaters pump heat and "climate-damaging CO2" directly into the atmosphere. According to the British government, outdoor heaters produce 22,000 tons of CO2 a year, compared to 21 million tons produced from household heating and hot water.

To environmentalist, this is like poring salt into an open wound ... "directly into the atmosphere!" Don't ya just love it? Say it ain't so! The Commission has been urged to set a timetable to take the patio heaters completely off the market. Do you hear that? The government wants to use global warming as an excuse to shut down an entire industry. And you tell me that this global warming isn't a cover for economic control.

UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE DIES IN CALIFORNIA

Arnold Schwarzenegger has been pushing universal healthcare for the state of California for quite some time. Well that battle has finally come to an end with the California legislature laying it to rest. Only a single member of the Senate Health Committee voted to send the bill to the full chamber.

The plan ultimately failed for two reasons. First, it was too expensive, and the money wasn't there. Second, Democrats said it didn't adequately help the poor.

Let's start with the expensive argument.

I've said this for years, projected costs for any entitlement program are never accurate; these programs always end up costing way more than originally budgeted. Right now California is already facing a $14.5 billion budget shortfall. Independent analysis of the plan found that it would be far more expensive than proposed. At best, spending would outpace revenue by $345 million after only two years ... the more likely scenario puts that figure at $3.9 billion.

Now ... as for the pitiful "poor." Democrats were upset because insurance subsidies were not generous enough to cover the cost for the "less fortunate." In other words, Democrats wanted to spend more money and they wanted to spend it on the poor. Luckily, the state of California has saved itself from a huge financial and medical burden ... for now.

THE BRITISH AND THEIR NANNY STATE

The British government has decided that government school teachers should no longer assume that their students have a "mom and dad." Therefore, teachers are to refer to "mom and dad" as "parents" because this would be more appropriate in tackling anti-gay bullying in schools. The government believes that students as young as four-years-old should be familiarized with the idea of same-sex couples, and teachers should never assume that students come from conventional families.

This new policy also states that children who call classmates "gay" should be treated just the same as racists. This is part of a zero-tolerance crackdown on derogatory language. Teachers must not tell boys to "be a man" or accuse them of behaving like "a bunch of women." This could lead to bullying of some students who do not conform to fixed ideas of gender.

Also, in the classroom, teachers should use their curriculum and every opportunity to end discriminatory attitudes about gay people. The example given is that an English teacher could focus on the emotions of gay characters in literature.

Blimey!

YOUR OUTRAGEOUS GOVERNMENT SCHOOL OF THE DAY

In Orange County, Florida a third grader has been suspended for taking a toy gun to school. The Sunset Park Elementary School student has been suspended for three days after the teacher found a gun in his backpack. The teacher apparently heard the student bragging about the gun to a classmate. The toy gun is described as having an orange tip that "is similar to a real pellet gun."

And for those of you who missed the Information Overload hour yesterday, a government high school in Fayette County, Georgia has one bathroom for 1,300 students. School officials closed all the bathrooms, except for one, during class time after an incident last year involving a gang beat down in a bathroom. The logical solution? Shut down all the bathrooms. If a student needs to go during class, they have to go to the front office, wait in line, ask permission to use the bathroom and be given a key to use the visitor's bathroom. Just unbelievable.

HOW ABOUT A HATE MAIL?

Name: Robert
Email: jacksonrj2002@XXXXXXX.com

Message:
I know that neil will never read this email. I wonder why when a caller starts making a point and proving what an idiot you are you either talk over him or hang up on him. I think you are scared that the listeners will find out what an idiot you are. You must have a rich relative that got you this job. Who would ever put an idiot like you on the radio?

REDNECK SCRAP BOOK

Just because your house has wheels doesn't mean you should try and drag it across any old bridge. More in the Redneck Scrap Book.

READING ASSIGNMENTS

Barack Obama said that Hillary Clinton is a too polarizing to win the presidency because she agrees with Republicans on some issues.

So ... Tiger Woods wants to get involved in politics? Hey, bud. You're only going to hurt yourself. Work on your swing.

If Obama becomes president, he wants to hold a summit with Middle Eastern leaders to "discuss the misunderstandings and gaps between the Muslim world and the West." Yeah ... talk. That's the ticket. Show of weakness ... simple as that.

Will illegal immigrants be getting a rebate from the federal government?

CNN did a report on how money is "tight" for the average American who can't afford gas or money to heat their homes. Meanwhile, the "average American" featured recently lost her job but is buying a big screen TV for the Super Bowl.

A lawmaker from South Carolina has sponsored legislation that would allow military men and women who are under 21 to purchase alcohol if they show their military ID to a bartender or store clerk.

Minneapolis, Minnesota is in a heated battle to decide whether or not the government should limit elephant rides.

Your tax dollars are funding a "federal gift" of $49 million to the city of Chicago to help it fight homelessness.

A woman in Great Britain is facing a fine of up to $40,000 or six months in prison for throwing an apple core out of her car window. Must have been one helluvan apple.

The Government Accountability Office says that the government needs to carefully scrutinize insurance companies' handling of damage claims from hurricanes (because of Katrina).

Here we go again about the warming seas causing more hurricanes this upcoming season.

This happened in Bangladesh, but I am sure once Hillary gets into office, it will happen to me. TV talk shows that appear on private television channels had to shut down because they received telephonic instructions from the government to discontinue programming.

Forbes has painfully calculated how miserable it is to live in certain cities, releasing their list of the most miserable cities in America.

For those of you who are on medication for restless leg syndrome ... you might want to think twice before using your medication as an excuse.

In Belgrade they have hotel rooms dedicated to Hitler. Here in America we have hotel rooms dedicated to chocolate. A hotel in New York City has unveiled an all-chocolate room complete with furniture and artworks made out of chocolate.

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