HERMAN CAIN HELPS OUT

This morning, Herman Cain will help out with the warm-up portion of the show, for those of you who get it. Then the Talkmaster will be in to aggravate you for the rest of the show.

ANOTHER LOOK INSIDE NEAL'S KNEE

For all you Boortz listeners out there facing knee replacement surgery, take a look at the cutting jig that has been gently (yeah, right) placed in my knee. [NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH] See those two pegs sticking up? They used a mallet to hammer those pegs into my bone so the jig would stay in place .. then they used a high-speed saw through those slots to cut off portions of my femur and tibia to make way for the implants. It's really something to look forward to! Your pal, Bionic Neal!

THE DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK

Beverly Olsen sends in these photos with the note:

I guess the old excuse of "the dog ate my homework" can come true sometimes.

I thought Neal would enjoy these pictures of my 1 year old beagle Honey who ate my autographed FairTax Book!!

REDNECK SCRAP BOOK

Wow, how'd you like to spend eternity housed in this? More in the Redneck Scrap Book.

READING ASSIGNMENTS

Border patrol agents in California are now apprehending illegal immigrants that are trying to leave the United States.

With John McCain as president, you can rest assured knowing that he is fighting religious persecution, child pornography and other "evil."

McCain says it is up to the states to drill for oil.  He says he would offer incentives for states to drill but he wouldn't force them to drill in any "environmentally sensitive" areas.

How much is the Mexican vote worth to Hillary or Obama?  Looks like that will be at least $20 million.

A new study shows that Conservatives are generally happier than Liberals.

Here's some news from Iran: nine million Iranians cannot read or write. 

Everybody panic!  Immigration raids in northern California may have scared the school children.

You'll be glad to know Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue has managed to find the time to sign a bill banning the sale of "marijuana flavored products" to minors.

Speaking of marijuana, Great Britain is actually raising marijuana to a class B drug with a 5 year jail term for users.

The state of Maryland has decided that Muslim men cannot legally divorce their wives by simply saying "I divorce thee" three times.  In other words ... your Islamic laws don't apply here.

CAIR is upset with a recent emergency preparedness drill that took place in Illinois where law enforcement personnel stormed a "mosque" to confront radical gunmen.  CAIR says this stereotypes Muslims as radicals.

It looks like NBC has been caught airing false footage to fill their global warming segments.

The Weather Channel seems to be having more problems than just global warming.

Some idiot driver in Minnesota who struck and killed a dog is now suing the dog's owners for damages on the vehicle.

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Belinda Skelton, Cristina Gonzalez and Laura Nunemaker assist in the daily preparation of Nealz Nuze!