TO THE UNDECIDED VOTER

I told you I was working on a little essay directed to the undecided voter. I think I said it was going to be around 5000 or so words. Turns out 6,500 words was more like it. Too much caffeine. Anyway ... here it is! If you think it worthy print it out! Email it to your friends! There's a link at the bottom of the essay for you to do just that! Leave a copy in the stall after your next visit. Do what you will with it as long as you give me credit. You can also find the document under "Today's Opinion" at Townhall.com ... though there are some proofreading errors there (which are all my fault.) At Townhall.com you can click on a link to forward the essay to your many friends.

THIS COULDN'T POSSIBLY GET ANY MORE RIDICULOUS.

We've detailed all of the things that someone can say about Barack Obama that are really code words for "black." Just to cover a few, we have "skinny," and "community organizer." Yup .. when someone says that The Chosen One is skinny they're really using a code word for "black," and ditto when someone refers to Obama's past as a community organizer.

OK ... we have something new for you here. This truly is not to be believed. Lately people have been recognizing some of Obama's policies as socialist. So, when people recognize Obama's policies as socialist, they start calling him a socialist. Seems reasonable to me. Now, in one of the most absurd and ridiculous columns I have ever read, some fool named Lewis Diugid, the editorial page editor of the Kansas City Star, has informed us uneducated idiots that "socialist" is a code word for ... guess what ... black. If you don't believe me ... just click here and read.

It's hard to believe there are idiots like this running around loose in our country, let alone holding jobs with apparent responsibility.

NUZE FACTOID

Barack Obama has received more money from Fannie Mae since 1989 than any other politician in Washington except one ... and that would be Christopher Dodd of Connecticut. This Obama has accomplished in only four years.

OBAMA IS STILL AT IT

Get this ... yesterday Obama gave a speech in Florida on economic competitiveness. Oddly The Chosen One failed to use his "spread the wealth around" line in the speech. I do wish to point out to you that Obama is still using this line about small businesses and capital gains taxes. Just yesterday, two weeks away from the election, he said, "And I'll help small businesses get back on their feet by eliminating capital gains taxes and giving them emergency loans to keep their doors open and hire workers."

So Obama plans on eliminating capital gains taxes on businesses that don't pay any capital gains taxes. What a man! I can't wait for him to be sworn in! And with that, he offers yet another spending program - emergency loans to help businesses stay open.

OPRAH IN THE WHITE HOUSE

TAKING A PAGE FROM THE OBAMA SCHOOL OF ECONOMICS

A Councilman in Albany, New York has come up with a way for those government bureaucrats making less money to get a raise. Are you ready for his plan?

"Councilman Glen Casey said he proposes forcing non-unionized employees who make more than $55,000 a year take 10 days of mandatory unpaid time off. Casey said he would then use the savings to give raises to those who make under $40,000 a year."

All he wants to do is spread the wealth. What's wrong with that?

PIZZA FOR YOUR MCCAIN-PALIN SIGN

There's a minor brouhaha in Detroit, Michigan. It all started when John McCain announced that he was giving up on Michigan. Since then, one pizza restaurant has decided that it will give away a free pizza to anyone who brings them a McCain-Palin sign. The result: People (teenagers) stealing signs from people's yards to get free pizza. By the way, the owner of the pizza joint does not hide the fact that she is a Barack Obama supporter.

CELEBRITY INFLUENCE

A study conducted by Washington State University proves that celebrities have the ability to get young people to vote. We are talking about these "get-out-the-vote" campaigns where all the young people who think they know it all will actually do something because a celebrity told them to. But the study concludes, "Celebrities have the power to motivate civic engagement regardless of their own grasp of the issues at hand." Read that again and have yourself a good giggle. So even if these celebutards know nothing about the actually issues, they are still able to motivate mindless children to vote. By the way, there are 44 million of these young voters in this country. Imagine what will happen if even half of them show up to vote for their Messiah Barack Obama? They will regret that decision in about 20 years when they can't open a business and realize how much they will have to pay in taxes if they actually make something of themselves.

CHANGES IN THE WORKPLACE

You small business owners out there are preparing for life under a Barack Obama presidency. One of our listeners sent us some new rules for small businesses based on Obama's ideals of change and fairness:

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama officially becomes president-elect, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are under-achieving a "fair shake".

2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst you. This will help those who are "too busy for overtime" to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government." We will not participate in this "pooling" experience because the law doesn't apply to us.

4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard "for the good of all".

5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's "good to spread the wealth around". Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more "patriotic".

6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?)!!!

If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.

I KNEW THIS WOULD GET SOMEONE'S PANTIES IN A WAD

This email from a listener:

Subject: Obama's grandmother
Name: sandra
I cannot believe you let that guy say that Obama's sick grandmother was just an excuse for a big photo opportunity. You have sunk to a new low. When I first started listening to you, you were pretending to to be an open-minded libertarian. Over the months I have heard you become more and more vitriolic. I am an independent, but you certainly aren't. To imply that his grandmother is not sick - well that is just SICK!

What makes this email particularly interesting is the fact that I strongly disagreed with the caller who said that Obama's trip was a photo op. I talked about Barack Obama's strong relationship with his grandmother and told the caller that I had no problem with the trip. It seems that Sandra needs to brush up on her listening skills.

READING ASSIGNMENTS

Chuck Schumer is so confident in Barack Obama, he thinks he is going to win 300 electoral votes on November 4th.

Top Republicans in Congress want to appointment of a special counsel to investigate "fraud and mismanagement" of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Democrats aren't particularly fond of the idea.

According to Barney Frank ... there are plenty of people out there who we can tax the hell out of.

Stanley Kurtz is still doing his best to bring you more information on Barack Obama's past ... the one that we know little about.

How would a cut in our capital gains tax affect our economy? Even if Barack Obama saw this information, he would still want to increase taxes. Because it is fair. Unbelievable.

Despite what the mainstream media might report, US troops support John McCain by a 3-to-1 margin over Barack Obama.

Remember how I told you about Hollywood getting a cut of this $700 billion bailout bill. Here are some facts on that for you to chew on.

A Barack Obama presidency could mean the end of secret labor ballots. What would a world like this be like?

Just to show you what a fair and balanced kinda guy I am ... here's a story of an Obama sign being stolen from the yard of a black man in Virginia and replaced with a Confederate Flag. There's a pig loose in those parts.

This is rich ... socialists are offended that John McCain is calling Barack Obama a socialist.

A listener pointed this out to us yesterday and now we have the video ... some Obama protestors jumping in front of Sarah Palin's motorcade in Grand Junction, Colorado. Where, by the way, Palin held a rally for 22,000, which is a record for Grand Junction.

John Murtha has his story straight now ... his constituents are not racists, they are rednecks. Glad we cleared that up.

Well that's it ... Barack Obama should be president because AskMen.com has voted him The Most Influential Man of 2008.

Am I really supposed to care what the world thinks about our Presidential election? I'd bet you'd be shocked at who they want to win. But there is one country that is not too fond of Obama ...

Walking your poodles on the neighbor's lawn (who happens to be a sergeant with the state police force) ... go to court.

New York City is going to test digital ads on buses that will change depending on which neighborhood you are in. I'm calling it right now - racist.

A nut, possibly drunk, wanders on stage in San Francisco and attempts to arrest Karl Rove for teason.

Tales from the Dad Side

Steve Doocy from Fox & Friends has a new book: Tales From the Dad Side - Misadventures in Fatherhood. Read an excerpt and then buy the book here. Check out these videos of Steve. .

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