ARE YOU SAD? THE GOVERNMENT CAN HELP! 

The federal government has decided that it wants to play a role in how you cope with the financial crisis. In fact, it is so concerned about your mental health that a website has been launched to warn people about sadness and crying over the economy.

This has been coming for a while, all they needed was an excuse. Remember, you've seen this in the government schools for a while now. Every time something a bit out of the ordinary and tragic happens your local government school has been running in government counselors to help your poor dears deal with their emotional response. The new standard seems to be if something happens that rocks your world, even a little bit, the government will provide you with some sort of mental health counseling. Right now its just a website for those of you struggling with the economy ... but perhaps your local economic mental health center will be opening soon.

Remember .. you need government to cope. Government is all. Government is everything. You cannot exist without massive government. Government is your friend. All hail the Imperial Federal Government of the United States.