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Posted: 8:46 a.m. Wednesday, May 26, 2010

SURVIVING THE OBAMA ECONOMY: A HOW-TO GUIDE FOR RECENT COLLEGE GRADS 

By Neal Boortz

A lot of this I had to say on the air yesterday ... but just for the archives, I wanted to try to repeat some of it in the Nuze today.

It's no secret: It sucks to be graduating from college right now and striking out to make your fortune in the ObamaEconomy. Now make no mistake ... the current economy and the current jobs situation belongs lock, stock and barrel to The Community Organizer. You can talk George Bush until we all turn to dust ... but if you can put down your "It's all George Bush's fault" script long enough to pick up a newspaper and read you will find that this is the worst economic recovery on record. Yeah .. there's growth out there, but the growth certainly isn't in the jobs sector. Why not? Because the small businessmen we depend on to created these jobs - about 80% of all new jobs - are scared to death of Barack Obama and what he is going to do to them. Think about this: You have the money to start expanding your business. You want to be able to take advantage of the growth that comes with an economic recovery. But, on the other hand, you have a president and a congress that is hell-bent on saddling you with new taxes and new regulations. Before you can develop a plan for growing your business you really need to know the impact of the new laws passed by Obama and the Social Democrats. Just how much is ObamaCare going to cost your business? What about this financial reform act? Will you be able to borrow money at a reasonable cost to keep your expanded business going during a slowdown? And what about those new taxes? The taxes on carried interest, higher income and Medicare taxes, and how big is the Social Security hit going to be? Remember, these businessmen report their incomes on their personal income tax returns ... so these things all matter - a lot.

And then .. there's Obama's transition from a private sector economy to a government economy ... and his penchant for redistribution of the wealth.

Just yesterday I talked about the latest statistic, which do not bode well for any college grad with ambition or an entrepreneurial spirit. Paychecks for workers in private businesses shrank to their smallest share of personal income in US history. As if that wasn't bad enough .. the moochers are fat and happy: government entitlement benefits rose to a record high during the first three months of 2010.

Are you wondering how this happened? In spite of everything that you have learned in college, you are probably wondering right about now what the hell happened to the American economy. You are wondering what happened to all of those wonderful job prospects. You want a unified theory of what happened to our economy and to your opportunities? I'll tell you. It's pretty simple. If you managed to graduate college, I think you can handle this explanation.

Many years ago .. probably before you were born! .. the political class in Washington decided that everybody, no matter how bad their credit or job history, had a right to own their own home. So lawmakers instructed the quasi-government agencies Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and other government agencies to do pretty much anything they had to do to make sure that anyone who wanted a home could get out there and borrow the money. Things like credit ratings and job history wouldn't matter. The loans would be made by private banks and lending institutions - sometimes under pressure brought by local "activists" and the Community Reinvestment Act. Fannie and Freddie would buy those loans without any real concern about the viability of the borrowers, and package them for sale to investors. Now the loans weren't actually guaranteed by Fannie and Freddie .. but the investors who bought these packages of loans were certainly operating as if they were. So ... what we had were securities made up of packaged loans that were ticking time bombs. They were going to go bad. The question was when.

In the meantime, all of this "easy" money and low mortgage interest rates continued to drive up the price of homes in America. So what happened as prices rose? Finally the interest rates started to go up on these variable interest rate mortgages. People couldn't make the payments and started defaulting. Home prices started down. With decreases in value the people who thought they could just simply refinance when their interest rates went up got their own rude awakening. More defaults. More foreclosures. As a result, home prices crash. Those securities based on these worthless home loans to worthless people, they crash too. Boom. Economic recession. Caused by what? Government --- government simply cannot escape the major part of the blame here. Sure, private sector lenders contributed to the mess ... but they were enabled by government all along the way.

Despite what Democrats and the ObamaMedia would have you believe, we did not get here because of Wall Street. All of this nonsense about Wall Street being the source of all of your problems is Bravo Sierra that is fed to you by the Obama administration. Why? Because they hate Wall Street because it gets in the way of their goal, which is a government-planned economy.

Now you understand why you just spent four years earning a degree in higher education so that you can do .....? The fact is that in this Obama economy, your dreams of starting your own business or pursuing a career may have to be put on hold. But you can't just sit around and mooch off your parents. And you certainly don't want to sit around and mooch of the taxpayers. So --- as a public service - I am going to give you some tips for your first job after graduation. I hope these tips serve you well:

  1. Greet the customer within 30 seconds of being seated.
  2. Dark clothes, black napkin. I hate having white lint all over my clothes.
  3. Don't constantly refill somebody's ice tea. They have it sweetened JUST the way they wanted it, and every time you add more to the glass I have to sit there for 5 minutes just to get it back to the way I want it again.
  4. Make sure the table always has enough butter.
  5. Handle the check BEFORE you clear the table. "May I have the check please?" sounds and looks a lot different that "May you please clear the table?" After I remove my ass from your restaurant, THEN you can clear the table.
  6. (The final hint) Don't disappear once the meal is finished.

Now if this is not your first job after you graduate into the Obama economy, maybe some of these tips will also be useful:

  1. Get one of those green Christmas tree air fresheners for your cab.
  2. Get a map or a GPS so you can get your fare to their destination easily.
  3. Try to keep the windows clean.

And finally ... if you have a degree in gender studies, and you haven't managed to get your university job ... practice this line over and over and you will be ready for your new career in the ObamaEconomy:

"Would you like French Fries with that?"

Success was for my generation. Your generation has a government-planned economy to establish. Your purpose is not to prosper for your own personal gain, it is to work and earn for the government. You destiny is to work to produce the wealth that will be seized by government and redistributed to those who do not have your work ethic or abilities.

There's your painful truth that nobody told you about during your commencement ceremonies. I tell you what .. if you want to hear my version of a commencement speech, filled will all sorts of similar wisdom like I've passed on here today, listen this Friday to the Information Overload Hour (12PM ET on WSB).

 
 

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