Tomorrow is the busiest travel day of the year, and it is also set to be National Opt-Out Day for thousands of Americans who think that our Imperial Federal Government has simply gone too far. Come on, folks. We're groping granny so that we don't have to profile.

Will you participate in National Opt-Out Day? Perhaps the best way is to just opt-out of flying altogether. Take the car. If you really wanted to stir the puddin' you could demand a supervisor every time you are told you are going to have to submit to an enhanced groping. You could also demand that law enforcement be present in case you decide to swear out a warrant for sexual assault after the groping is completed.

By the way, you can thank the Talkmaster later for providing you with a TSA-approved list of things that you can and can't bring through TSA security.