Princess Pelosi is upset. And I, of course, am upset that she's upset. She is upset that you have not bowed down and kissed the ground she walks upon, thanking her for everything she has done for this country. Pelosi says that "we haven't really gotten the credit for what we have done." By "we" she clearly means Democrats. Well how about we thank Nancy for this. In fact, why don't you go ahead and write a thank you note on behalf of your grandchildren ...

When Nancy Pelosi gave her inaugural address as speaker of the House in 2007, she vowed there would be "no new deficit spending." Since that day, the national debt has increased by $5 trillion, according to the U.S. Treasury Department. Thank you so very much, Nancy, for the $5 trillion in debt our children and grandchildren are going to have to pay off. You deserve the credit.

Now ... let's see. Surely there are other things we can give Nancy credit for! How about that spectacular ObamaCare bill that we had to pass so we could find out what was in it? Princess Pelosi complains that "You have all those forces at work, pouring millions of millions of dollars into the media, and now into the campaigns to mischaracterize everything that we did." Well .. it's government accountants, not the evil media and the hated (but only as long as they're serving Republicans) "special interests," that are now telling us that Obama care is going to cost way more than you said, and that it will be adding to our deficits as early as next year.

Then there's the stimulus bill. Actually, Nancy, that one pretty much belongs to you. The Community Organizer wanted to spend some money to make it look to the American people like he was actually doing something ... so he came to you and told you to get a stimulus bill written. You then went to your House members and told them to get all of their spending bills written up in nice difficult to understand legislative language and sent to her office so she could put it into a nice stimulus package. So, if we can't thank you, we want to convey the thanks of those Siberians who are being taught with borrowed money - money our children will have to pay back - how to interact with their government ... in Moscow. Thanks also from that academic hack in Oklahoma who now has over $1 million of stimulus money to study grandparent interaction in Alaska. Oh ... and the turtles thank you for their turtle tunnel.

Mischaracterize? Don't think so, Madam Speaker. It's all there in black and white in the legislation you crammed down American throats. It's not real hard to mischaracterize a $5 trillion increase in national debt. Know what? I think that your real problem is that the American people understand all too well what you've really done. We recognize your accomplishments, and we look at our children and feel remorse for the idiotic votes we cast that gave you all this power.

Actually ... the American people DO want to thank you. They want you to know that they're so appreciative of the job you've done that they want you to go ahead and enjoy your hard-earned retirement. We're going to throw a little retirement party for you in ... say ... about one week. Maybe after all of the burdens of the speaker's office are removed from your shoulders you'll decide to just go ahead and retire. Trust me ... you've earned it.