You will remember that a few years ago Dqen Brancheau, a trainer at SeaWorld in Orlando, was killed by a Killer Whale. A tragedy, to be sure.  But did you know that OSHA, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, has been studying the matter?  Well, they have – and they’ve come up with a solution.  An OSHA administrative law judge has now ordered that SeaWorld trainers can no longer have any physical contact with the Killer Whales unless they are protected by a physical barrier.  This means that there will be no more shows at SeaWorld where the trainers are in the water with these animals. SeaWorld appealed, but a Federal Judge has upheld the ruling. 

So much for Shamu at SeaWorld.  Now we can go there to watch him jump out of the water .. but that’s about it.  SeaWorld is, of course, appealing. 

So … contact with Killer Whales should be forbidden in the workplace because one person was killed in what was a very unusual attack indeed.  If OSHA is going to go this far in protecting people in the workplace, may I make suggestion for a few more OSHA regulations?

Certainly far more taxi drivers have been killed than Killer Whale trainers, so how about an OSHA reg that prohibits taxi drivers from any physical contact with customers.  But wait!  Not all customers are dangerous – and not all marine mammals are dangerous.  After all, OSHA didn’t prohibit contact between dolphins and trainers.  So maybe OSHA can just demand physical separation between taxi drivers and killer customers.  This could be pretty much accomplished by requiring physical barriers for all pickups in high-crime areas, including Section 8 housing and urban settings.  No – not all the people there are killers, but then again, neither are all Killer Whales. 

We could also call for physical barriers between convenience store workers and their customers – again, principally in high crime areas.  Convenience store clerks are attacked and killed pretty much every day. 

Then there’s working with Muslims.  More innocent people have been killed by Muslims in the workplace than have trainers at SeaWorld.  Maybe OSHA could require a physical barrier between Muslims and other workers in the workplace?  How many people did Nidal Hasan kill at Ft. Hood Texas?  Thirteen?  One SeaWorld trainer gets killed and OSHA demands physical barriers?  How about physical barriers to protect us from radical Muslims?  Now Hasan was American-born, a trained psychiatrist, and U.S. Army officer – proof that we can’t really predict which Muslim is going to go mad, so just protect us from all of them.