There are several reasons why I chose to make Naples, Florida my permanent residence several years ago.  Primary reason?  We love the place.  Naples is Florida’s answer to Carmel, California.  There’s also the health aspects.  Last I heard Collier County, Florida (Naples) had the nation’s longest life expectancy for women, and the second longest for men.  Then there’s the fact that Collier County has the largest number of golf courses per capita of any county in the nation.   There’s also a rather lengthy list of broadcast professionals who have made Naples either their retirement home or have a second home here; people such as former CNN Anchors Don Farmer and Chris Curle, Sean Hannity, Scott Shannon, Bill Cunningham, Stuart Varney, Brett Baier --- and others who might not want it to be known that we’re friends. 

And then there’s the crime.  I’m not saying this area is crime-free.  What area is?  But compared to Atlanta (and yes, I love Atlanta) crime-free might be the operative word.  Last year I compared the crime headline in Naples one day that that of Atlanta.  In Atlanta, of course, it was a murder.  In Naples we had some woman attacking a man on the beach with a swim noodle. 

OK … all of that is leading up to yet another Naples crime story.  I don’t want you to think it’s all that perfect down here.  Last Friday’s Naples Daily News had a story about a man who had an iPad stolen out of his hotel room.  His iPad and something else.  Now he’s not sure who did it … could have been the woman he met and invited to his room that evening, or it could have been the housekeeper.  But the paper reports that this man is now missing his iPad … and a pair of vibrating panties. 

Vibrating panties?  This guy had a pair of vibrating panties?  Now I’ve been in a few adult stores in my life … professional research … and I’ve never seen a pair of vibrating panties.  What are they?  A new treatment for BPH?    And there’s this --- if you’re going to report a theft to the police, wouldn’t you want to consider just reporting the missing iPad?  Isn’t that enough?  Why would include the vibrating panties in the police report? 

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